Page 201 of Swords of Soul and Shadow
He’d told the man he’d think on it and get back with him the next day with his decision. Depending on the conversation he planned to have with Hallie that morning, he would hopefully say yes.
It was just nice to be needed, and the capital could offer him much more opportunity than Stoneset. It’d been Jack’s dream, then Hallie’s. Now it was his.
He wove his way through the grasses, nodding at the people he passed. The Yalvs were interesting, and they reminded him of his mother; stoic, but always willing to invite someone in. Fely had visited the day he’d woken and told him about the bonfire celebration, inviting him to come if he felt up to it.
He’d gone, but for some reason, he hadn’t expected to see Hallie there.
Whyhe hadn’t expected it, he wasn’t sure, but when he’d walked into the celebration with a few other Jaydians, he had not expected or needed to see Hallie with Kase’s hands on her waist.
Even two days later, the memory of their dancing alone poured the hot tang of jealousy down the back of his throat. But then he’d remember that Kase was the reason he was even standing there, thanks to the blanket he’d brought. Without it, Niels would still be trapped in that cold room with no way out.
Still, it’d taken everything in him to apologize to Kase for kissing her, and he probably wouldn’t have done so if thesterningpilot hadn’t forced his hand.
He rubbed the braided cord at his wrist.
The fibers were rough and threaded with blue. He wasn’t sure he would’ve done the same for Kase if their positions had been reversed—especially not when it involved Hallie. Thatwould’ve been selfish, but he didn’t think he would’ve cared if it meant Hallie would look at him the way she looked at Kase.
Seeing them together, dancing, talking, and finally kissing in front of everyone…
Hallie had never looked at Niels that way, not even before Jack died.
That part hurt the most: his feelings for her were still there in his heart, yet he knew he would never have her.
He needed to move on. She’d told him as much. But how?
After a few more turns and nods to others, he found himself in a small meadow tucked up against the cavern wall covered in kudzu. A few trees enclosed the space, and a strange Yalven torch hung from a hook in one of the trunks, shining brighter than regular fire. It was almost like they’d mounted a small sun.
Against one of the trees sat Hallie, her sketchbook out, her pencil flying across the page. She didn’t look up from her work, and Niels had to take a moment to simply admire her before her expression turned to one of displeasure or disappointment.
The grass bent under his boots, but his steps barely made a sound as he strode toward her. She still didn’t look up, and it wasn’t until he stopped a short distance away that she stopped writing.
Her eyes never left her page.
“Morning.” That came out raspy. He cleared his throat. “Petra told me you like to come here when you’re not busy.”
She didn’t answer, only stuck her pencil into her sketchbook and closed it.
But she didn’t run away or curse him. He took that as a good sign and eased himself against the other side of the tree. Across the way, a few men sparred with Zuprium swords. The soft clangs didn’t help his focus.
“Look,” he tried again, “I didn’t come here to argue or beg you to take me back. I heard what you said.”
Even if I don’t agree with it much.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye. She merely wet her lips, staring at the kudzu vines.
He continued, “I’m going to stay in the capital for a while yet, even after everything is set to rights, but I want you to know it’s for myself, not…not because I’m going to keep chasing you. I’m not here to try again. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
She swallowed.
Niels hated that he was still aware of her every movement. It would be a long time yet before he could forget all her little mannerisms, but he would have to trust that it would fade. “If you don’t want to forgive me, you don’t have to. But just know that I only want you to be happy, and if he makes you happy, then so be it. I won’t stand in your way.”
The words felt more like gravel he forced through his teeth, but he’d said them. And he did mean them, or he would eventually.
He waited that time, hoping she would acknowledge him in some inconsequential way, but she just chewed her lip.
Stars, she really had changed.
He pushed himself back to his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets. “That’s really all I came to say. Good luck. I wish you all the best, truly.”
