Page 162 of Swords of Soul and Shadow
Even with everything she’d seen in the last few months, this bonfire was an odd sight. Sure, Saldr and Fely had demonstrated the skill in a small way during her lesson, as had King Filip in Myrrai, but seeing so many of the Yalvs’ powers melding together to create this smokeless, woodless bonfire was a little awe-inspiring.
Maybe Saldr had a point. Observing might help her. But the night was still young, and she privately feared she might still find a way to set the entire meadow alight.
The light orbs floated like graceful soap bubbles from Yalven fingertips to the center flame. Once joined with the others, the effect of so many moving in harmony created a false flame, an illusion dancing like true fire against the high cavern walls and ceiling. The fire floated far enough away from the treetops to not catch the branches. Hallie refused to look where Saldr’s tent sat underneath a scorched and dead tree further into the cavern.
A steady chorus of Yalvs chanting “Yrea” only added to the ambiance, making Hallie feel less like she was stuck underground in the middle of a war.
While she wasn’t certain it would help her control her power, it certainly didn’t hurt. If only the joy around her could help the whole Kase situation. After that fiasco of a first training session, their argument had replayed in her head over and over all day long.
He’d tried to talk to her again last evening after he’d finished working with the pilots, but his surly guard had dragged him back to his tent after she’d told him that she just wanted to sleep.
With everything, she’d needed time to think.
Logic told her what she felt for him was real, that their bond was deep enough to withstand anything life threw at them…but logic wasn’t the one with hurt feelings. Maybe that was what scared her most.
Hallie had seen how Harlan treated his family and caught glimpses of his anger. Kase had told her more, and he did have a temper all his own. She’d been on the receiving end of it more than a few times during theEudora Jaydemission. But she’d known that about him. It wasn’t near the level of his father’s.
Which meant there was only one real reason she’d been angry: because she was terrified that she was going to lose him.
There were a hundred ways it could happen. Maybe his feelings didn’t run nearly as deep as hers, or maybe he’d realize she wasn’t good enough for him, or maybe he’d consider the kiss with Niels a betrayal he couldn’t forgive her for. But for all the ways she could see herself losing him, she couldn’t see a single way to keep him.
Maybe it would hurt less if she took herself out of the equation instead. Maybe that was why she’d lashed out, trying to stoke her anger enough to convince herself to walk away.
It hadn’t worked. Even now, surrounded by magic, her feet ached to walk to wherever he was.
But even if they both stayed, what about the Yalven plan with the Gates? If she reset them, what would happen to her? To Kase? To time itself?
If her power undid everything that had led them to each other, would she find him again? Or would either of them—maybe both of them—cease to exist entirely?
She should just tell him how she felt, what she was thinking. They could talk it out. It was the mature thing to do. She was nearly twenty-two years old, for stars’ sake—yet here she was, acting like an overemotional teenager. She clearly hadn’t learned anything from how she’d handled things with Niels.
She couldn’t walk away without saying goodbye this time. Not with Kase. They needed to talk…even if she didn’t want to.
At least she’d told Kase about the kiss. That’d been healthy, right? She could have kept it quiet. Honesty was the right choice.
Even though it’d hurt him. His entire posture had changed, the light in his eyes completely doused.
Hallie had done that.
In front of her, the Yalvs continued adding more glowing balls of flame to the center fire. Each successive one grew smaller and smaller. Maybe they were trying to conserve Vasa now that the core of the fire was finished, though it still created a nice effect. Some Yalvs sang a soft, eloquent hymn in their native tongue, and the bonfire—which wasn’t really a bonfire, but it was the only way Hallie could describe it—blazed a little brighter with each word. The wildflowers and grasses beneath it glowed, though they didn’t catch.
Hallie hastily took notes in her sketchbook. She drew a few hurried images; they were nothing compared to the quality of her sketches before she’d lost her finger, but drawing stillcalmed her. It helped take her mind off of Kase and the lack of power thrumming through her veins. It reminded her of who she’d been before she’d lost her fingers before she’d become the Essence of Time.
A few Jaydians had joined the group, intrigued by the fire and the music—probably invited by Fely, who had spread the word on their way to the hospital ward earlier. The Yalvs welcomed them with open arms, inviting them to watch and join the dancing couples twirling before the bonfire. A few of the newcomers seemed wary of the strange fire without smoke or wood, but with everything else they’d gone through in the last few months, they soon proved too exhausted and heartsick to care.
The Yalvs seem to float as they wove in and out of the other couples dancing to the happy melodies. Hallie sketched one of them, then scribbled notes below:
To show thankfulness for Toro’s strength in the Dawn, the Yalvs sing a mixture of traditional and modern songs while dancing around their Yazyrea, the eternal flame. The dancing became tradition about 1200 years after the Dawn (need to check the Yalven scholar, Hazrka, for the exact timing). It is not necessarily a religious celebration, only one of joy.
It is customary to eat certain dishes, including a roast goose, which is also not tied to a religious practice—it is a more recent tradition. According to Hazrka, the goose happened to be prevalent at one of the feasts about 100 years prior, so therefore, goose is now primarily served.
Noting here that this year’s particular celebration is bittersweet, as the last year has been rife with death and the destruction of their ancestral home. Under the current circumstances, they have foregone many traditions and adapted others to the best of their ability.
There was no goose at this meal, only dried beef jerky and what looked to be some sort of fried fish. Hallie didn’t want to know where they’d gotten the fish. They’d either found some underground river or created it with Vasa, and if it was the latter, Saldr probably wasn’t happy about it. She took note of it regardless. Perhaps it would become part of the evolution of this holiday.
“Have you eaten?” Her mother sat beside her in the soft grass, a few cloth-wrapped pastries in hand. Hallie leaned back on another moss-covered stone. Seemed Saldr hadn’t been able to stop anyone from making them, as many circled the bonfire.
“Yes.”
