Page 23 of Keeping Freya
“Healing,” he insists, and he rises from his chair.
“Okay.” I give in, because I don’t have any more means to postpone the inevitable. It’s not like I have a fear of needles or something, but with the way my body is still thrumming, I am hyperaware of his nearness. Things changed between us on that asteroid, and seeing him kill for me really did something for me. It made me open up to the attraction I—up until then—was denying myself to have.
He takes my hand and gently pulls me up. “Come,” he says, leading me towards the table in the back. When I’m seated, he caresses my cheek. “I wish I could kill them all for hurting you. I thought my heart had left my body when I saw him with that spike at your throat.”
Automatically, I place my hand on his. “It all worked out, big guy. That’s what matters. You came for me.”
He gives me a quizzical look. “Of course, I came for you. I told you I would keep you safe.”
“I guess I didn’t really understand what that meant.” I swallow. “I just wanted to say, thank you.”
He grunts and quickly administers the injections. It stings a little bit, but I instantly feel better. His big palm gently caresses my cheek.
“Fr’Ya,” he whispers. My name a caress on his tongue, andinstantly I feel hot all over. He inhales deeply, and I just know he can sense my arousal. Licking my lips, I’m debating my options here. All this pent-up energy, all this adrenaline. It takes everything in me not to give in. My body definitely wants him, but my heart is too broken.
Rising, I give him a small smile and take a step back. Suddenly, I feel very, very tired. “I think I’ll go to bed, okay?”
He grunts as I walk away. The door opens, but I hesitate for a minute and turn around. “T’Rak?”
He grunts again.
“Thank you. Thank you for coming for me. I know it’s evident for you, but in my world, it’s not.” My voice breaks, and tears form in my eyes. “Goodnight,” I call out as I quickly walk away.
I barely make it to my room before the dams break. And when the tears start, they keep on coming. I slide my body down to the floor with my back against the door, arms around my knees. I try to muffle my cries, but it’s useless. This is an outburst that was weeks in the making, months—years even. I have always been the strong one, never letting myself feel the despair, the horror of what occurred to me. I never cried. ‘It could have been worse’ became my mantra.
Finally, I feel all the bad things that happened to me. It’s almost as if I feel safe because I have T’Rak in my corner now. I can finally let go of all that strength for once. I know if I fall apart now, it won’t get me hurt or killed. Because T’Rak will protect me—and when he can’t, he’ll move heaven and earth to get me safe again.
When the tears finally draw up, I am exhausted—but also resigned. I’m glad T’Rak is here for me, but I have got to be able to depend on myself, because he won’t be there forever.
Things between us are different. Is it because of what CeLay said? Or the way he saved those other Aliens, going above and beyond to help them.
Sleep is making my brain foggy, but I realize why with my last clear thought. He came for me.
When I enterthe command room, T’Rak is not there. I fix myself some tea before I walk deeper into the ship in search of him. It takes me a while to make my way to the passageway to the ship’s lower level. Of course, that’s where he is. He must be training a lot to keep up with all that muscle.
I almost drop my tea when I walk into the training center. T’Rak is at the far corner where an array of boxing bags hang. They are way bigger than any boxing bag I’ve ever seen, but T’Rak punches them like they’re filled with feathers. He alternates between kicks and punches. Twisting and turning, he works on two bags at the same time.
I’m frozen, standing, watching all those bulging grey muscles. I let out a wistful sigh. He must have heard it because he brusquely turns to look at me. He heaves from the effort, sweat shining across his skin. My mouth suddenly feels dry, and a blush creeps up toward my cheeks. Yes, things are definitely different between us.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a peeping Tom.”
“Tom?” he wonders when he walks towards me. “Who is Tom? Why is he peeping?”
I giggle, releasing some of the tension I was holding. “Another Earth saying, never mind.”
He steps closer to me, like he just can’t help himself. I want to protest, I really want to. But I’m also tired of being this angry.
“Can you teach me that?” My voice sounds hoarse. He’s so close, I can feel the heat coming from his body.
“Teach you what?” he frowns.
“Fighting. I…” I choke on the words. I don’t want to admit I’m vulnerable.
His big palm cradles my cheek and lifts my chin with his pinky. “What do you need, my Zarra?” he whispers.
“Teach me how to fight. Teach me how to defend myself, so I will never feel powerless… ever again.”
A low grumble resonates from his chest, almost making it sound like he purrs. His thumb brushes over my cheekbone, and something flutters inside my chest.
