Page 90 of A Duchess Bound
“If love does not exist, it would not hurt to be rejected by another,” Dorothy said.
“Ah, I suppose that is a point to consider,” Lady Everleigh replied. “But with men like Hs Grace…perhaps, the rejection comes from knowing that one is never enough. The duke, for all his good qualities, has an insatiable appetite.”
Thatwas certainly true. Dorothy’s mind readily supplied her with all the images and sensations of their late-night encounters. She clasped her wrists before her as the phantom bite of the ropes encircled them.
“It is difficult to have any…affection—” Lady Everleigh made a strange face, as though she was uncertain that she had chosen the correct word “—for such a man. He will inevitably decide that you are no longer what he desires.”
Dorothy’s chest tightened. A new pressure formed behind her eyes. It felt suspiciously like forming tears, but she refused to cry before Lady Everleigh.
“But there must be one woman who would satisfy him,” Dorothy said. “I find it difficult to believe that there is any living man for whom there is no suitable love match.”
Lady Everleigh raised an eyebrow. “Love? Most people do not find love. Did you not resign yourself to spinsterdom? I am surprised to hear you argue that His Grace must have a love match, given that you have not found your own.”
“He is…” Dorothy trailed off, a strange dread creeping up her spine and across her shoulders.
A rational part of her knew that there was no real defense for her to offer. Everything Lady Everleigh was saying about love and rakes made complete sense, yet the urge to fight rose within her—as hot and fierce as flame. She could not, or would not, believethat everything Gerard had done or said, every glance and touch, was that of a man who did not deserve love.
Of a man who could nothavelove.
“You are a fool if you have let yourselflovehim,” Lady Everleigh said softly.
“I never said that.”
Lady Everleigh’s gaze never faltered, though. Her expression was too knowing. It hardly mattered if Dorothy claimed that she was not in love with Gerard, for Lady Everleigh had already arrived at that conclusion, and the steel in her eyes made it apparent that she would not be easily dissuaded.
A couple of ladies took a turn past them, but they were engrossed in their own conversation. They seemed to pay Dorothy and Lady Everleigh no mind. And why would they? An elderly widow and a spinster were of interest to no one.
“If you love him, it would be best to put an end to it,” Lady Everleigh said. “The longer you let yourself love him, the more difficult it will be to free yourself of him.”
“Why do you say it all like that?” Dorothy asked, a sense of despair sweeping over her.
Lady Everleigh sighed. “It is folly to love a man like that. If you are going to be involved with a rake, you must be certain thatyou do not relinquish your heart to such a man. It will never end well.”
It had already ended and—not well—just as she said.
Dorothy knew that she ought to accept defeat, but there was another part of her, the smallest spark of hope, that refused to be smothered. Could she rekindle his love for her? Even thinking that she might somehow win his affections again sent a surge of anxiety and dismay coursing through her.
“I know that you are right,” Dorothy conceded softly. “But I wish that you were not.”
“So do all women who find themselves in your position,” Lady Everleigh said, her voice softening with sympathy. “But if you are to be a spinster who engages with men like His Grace, you must learn this lesson and learn it well.”
Learning the lesson was not difficult. Abiding by it was another matter entirely.
“Thank you for your advice,” Dorothy murmured.
Dorothy was not entirely certain that she wanted to be grateful for such advice, but it had been kind, if too brazen, for a woman to speak to another.
“Of course,” Lady Everleigh said. “But you will do what you will, regardless of what I say. People are eager to listen to advice but seldom wish to accept it.”
Lady Everleigh walked away, and with nothing else to serve as a distraction, Dorothy’s eyes drifted to Gerard once more. He still stood nearby, surrounded by his companions, but his eyes were fixed upon her. Her breath caught in his throat. Was it her imagination that he looked as though he had not followed his friends’ conversation for some time?
Dorothy forced down the lump that rose in her throat. She took a step forward. So did he.
Were they going to speak? Her heart thundered against her ribs, its beats so mighty that she heard their echo reverberating through her skull. Dorothy’s mind raced desperately for the best words to say; words which would make her appear unaffected by him. She would prove that she no longer held the infuriating man inside her heart, and yet no words came.
Gerard’s lips parted, and all air left Dorothy’s chest. He was going to speak to her. She shivered, uncertain how she could possibly survive speaking to him. Dorothy felt as though she was going to fall apart and as though she was putting herself together both at the same time.
“Dorothy!” Elias’s urgent voice shattered the moment.
