Page 81 of A Duchess Bound
“Gerard, I?—”
“That was lovely,” he said, a note of finality in his voice.
There was something in her face that he did not understand. It was a softness that was unlike anything he had seen from a lover before. Or maybe he was only seeing what he wished to see.
Ice crept into his veins. He abruptly kissed Dorothy, and she made a surprised sound. Then, Gerard turned to get up. His pulse jumped, and his thoughts ran away from him.
“We should part ways,” he said abruptly.
“What?” she whispered.
Gerard straightened his spine. It should not matter. That was the test. If Dorothy were only a lover, he would not care if they parted ways. He could always find another woman.
So why did the thought of leaving her cause a jolt of anxiety to course through him? He clenched his jaw and forced himself to remain silent for fear that he might take the words back. This was bad.
No, more than bad. This wasdreadful. For the first time in his entire string of lovers, he found himself wanting more. He could not have more, and she?—
She deserved far more than he could offer.
“For the night?” Dorothy asked, her voice soft.
“No. We need to part ways for good,” Gerard said. “We do not need to let this arrangement go any further.”
He still did not face her, but he heard her hurt inhale of breath.
“Why would you say that?”
He paused, steeling himself against her anger or perhaps, his own hurt. “Because it is for the best. Lord and Lady Holloway noticed that we have been speaking with one another, and I have no doubt that they suspect we have been engaged in other behaviors also.”
“Because we have been! And I do not—let them talk!” Dorothy protested.
He climbed to his feet and looked over his shoulder at her. Dorothy had sat upright and gazed imploringly at him. His chest tightened, and his breath came unevenly. “No,” he said. “No, I cannot simply let themtalk.”
“Cannot or will not? And why should it matter to you?” Dorothy asked. “Have you not taken countless women to your bed without sparing a thought for how they might feel afterwards? I do not understand why I should be denied your continued affections when they were not!”
He stared at her, his mind awhirl with the conflicting desire to hold her close while also pushing her away. “I care about your reputation,” he said. “I have never shown such considerationfor another woman before you. I imagined that you would be pleased.”
“Pleased?” she snapped. “You—you know that I am not!”
“Unfortunate,” he said tightly.
She shifted from the bed and scowled at him. The roses on her cheeks were no longer those of pleasure but instead the fire of a woman who was furious and scorned. Dorothy nearly took his breath away, standing there like that. Her expression was fierce, but her body was so soft and vulnerable.
A better man might relent and take her into his arms, stroke her hair and tell her how beautiful she was, but he was not—and could never be—that manner of man.
“You just wanted to coax me into bed with you!” Dorothy cried.
That was not it. Even from the start, he had noticed that there was something more to her than a body that he might wish to penetrate. He had found her fiery and bold, caring and clever. A spark of hurt smoldered in his chest.
No, he had done everything wrong. He had gotten too close to her, and he had only realized it when she lay beside him and gazed at him like she bore him real affection, feelings that were more than he might feasibly expect from a lover.
“Well,” he said, realizing that she wanted a response. “It is not as though I ever hid my intentions from you.”
It would be for the best if she left, too. Even if Dorothy had no intention of marrying, she would suffer if her name was tied to his. Herfamilywould suffer. No, it would be better for all involved if she left.
His chest ached.
“You are a heinous man!” Dorothy shouted.
