Page 10 of Savage Love
“Brother, I know you are fighting primal instinct right now, but she needs to see that you have self-control,” Ren says.
“I am a leader. I shouldn’t have this issue,” he frowns.
“Check your toxic masculinity at the door, Zev. Not only do you have emotions, but you also have hormones. You are a mutated human with a natural pull to a life partner. Recognize that for what it is, and help the girl dry off. She deserves the version of you that everyone knows you for, okay?”
“One of us is crazy, and I sense that it isn’t me,” I say bluntly. Ren chuckles and pats Zev on the shoulder.
“I’m going up top to talk to the others,” Ren says. “Zev, keep your dick out of the girl unless she asks for it.”
“Yeah. Yeah,” he mutters and wraps the fluffy white towel around my body. When Ren leaves, Zev sits me on the bed.
“Am I supposed to lie down or…”
“Please, God, do not do that,” he says quickly.
“I’m confused. Am I undesirable?” I ask. “I was taught to…”
“Listen to me, okay?” he asks as he sits and turns my body to face him. “Can I be blunt with you and explain something?”
“Please,” I sigh. “I am so confused. I don’t know if I am supposed to pleasure you or serve you in another way. I also want to stab you again, but I don’t know why. Shit. Is your hand okay? You grabbed the blade.”
I grab his large hand and flip it over so I can see the cut. It isn’t bleeding, nor is it terribly deep. I feel terrible for hurting him. “It’s okay, Astra,” he says gently. “I will heal it later. Can I explain what is happening right now?”
“Please,” I say.
“The short version is, I have genetic mutations. All of the people of Torvex do. Numerous people inside Ossara do as well. Those with the genetic mutation have a soulmate. They are a life partner. When I first meet or see my life partner, I will feel a natural pull to her. When I touch her for the first time, it turns primal. It is an instinct ingrained in me to mate. Usually, my life partner would feel the same pull. Hers would develop a bit slower, and I would still have to be accepted, but it’s different with you. The Ossara government has been feeding you Hydrovita for your entire life. It suppresses many of the effects of your genetic mutation, except for their ability to use a computer-based mind control.”
“Is… Is that why I can see how corrupt and evil the government is, but others sing their praises?” I ask.
“Yes,” he smiles. “You are resistant to mind control because of the genetic mutation. The caregivers you had as a child—many of them were spies of Torvex and were able to report back to Torvex the babies who carried mutations. We kept track of you all the best we could, and we have been on a mission to extract those individuals.”
“So… I am like you?” I ask. “I am one of the people of Torvex?”
“You are now,” he smiles.
“And I am your life partner?” I ask.
“Yes,” he confirms.
“But you don’t want me to present myself to you?”
“I do,” he says. “Instinctively, I want nothing more than to take you right now… but I won’t.”
“Have I done something wrong?” I ask. “I don’t want to be in trouble.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, and you are not in trouble,” he says. “To put it bluntly, I won’t fuck you because you don’t want it. It is important to me that you want it.”
“I want to want it… I think,” I say.
“Why?” he asks. “Without saying that it is your duty or because that is what you were taught.”
“I… You’ve got me there,” I say, and he smiles. “Why do I want to stab you?”
“Because it is ingrained in you to be afraid of me. You are in survival mode, and it’s manifesting in a way that you want to fight.”
“But if I am supposed to feel this pull… why don’t I?” I ask.
“You need to get that shit out of your system and eat real food,” he says. “That drink that Lyra gave you was water, but it was enhanced with things to help flush out your system.”
