Page 103 of We Were Something
“One of Rodney’s friends from college put together a slideshow…if you want to watch,” she says, then spins on her heel and heads back inside.
Warren snorts. “Nice job,” he mumbles as she retreats. “Come to a wake, talk shit about the beer to the dead guy’s mom.”
All three of us laugh, something long and easy and much needed after the stress of the morning. Then we stand there for some extended quiet moments, just staring at the fire.
“Was Rodney a good guy?” I ask, giving in to the curiosity I’ve always had about the man Jen left me for.
Back when everything happened, I wouldn’t have thought to care, even as amicable as we tried to be with each other. Or rather, as easygoing asItried to be. Jen was in raptures since she’d figured out a way to get what she wanted. She was all platitudes back then, wise words about moving on and staying friends. I sucked it up and nodded my head, all the while planning my escape.
I hadn’t thought to care about who the guy was. To be honest, I’m not sure why I care now. Maybe I just want to know that if she was going to throw our life away, even as much as we were already growing apart, she at least picked a guy who gave her a good life for the short while they were together. I want to know the baby she’s carrying had a kind father.
Warren shrugs. “Good enough, I think. But that was always the deal, wasn’t it?”
I nod, knowing he’s right. It wasn’t really about the guy. It was about the baby. That’s what Jen wanted, and our whole group knew it.
They knew it because, over the last few years of our marriage, as Malory gave birth to two kids then Ebony became pregnant, it was something she tried to push onto me in a faux fun way as often as she could. Any time babies were a part of the conversation, she’d beam at me and reach over, put her hand on mine, and say something like, “I can’t wait for Logan to finally come around so we can have that, too.”
It was frustrating and led to many fights in the car on the way home. Fights that continued once we wereathome, though they almost always turned into Jen bursting into tears and stomping around the house, and then the silent treatment.
Instead of doing something smart like, I don’t know, going to couples counseling, I let her fume and sought solace in my work. I fled into the safety and protection of the very thing that was the reason for my desire not to have kids.
So, really, if I have to reflect on it honestly, we both had affairs. Mine is just more socially acceptable. She turned to the arms of another man, and I turned to the detachment of the hospital.
We were both responsible for the fact that things between us came to an end. Jen was just the one who finally bit the bullet and asked for the divorce.
“It’s good you’re here,” Greg says, dragging me out of my reminiscence. “Malory told me Jen is having a really fucking hard time.”
I shake my head and down the rest of my beer.
“Jen doesn’t need me here. She has all of you guys. She’s just afraid of what it means now that she has to raise the kid without a dad.”
When neither of them say anything, I look up, finding them eyeing each other in some weird way that makes me think they have something to say.
“Alright, whatever it is, spit it out,” I tell them. “Eventually, I’ll be back in California, so this might be your one shot to say whatever it is that’s got you both acting like weirdos.”
Greg palms the back of his neck. “What’s the deal with this Paige chick?”
“She’s my girlfriend,” I reply, feeling like I’m missing something.
“Yeah, but I mean…what’s the deal, you know? Are you just hitting some young pussy because you want to stick it to Jen?”
I grit my teeth. “Fuck no. I get that you guys are stuck on this age thing, but seriously—”
“Exactly,” Warren interrupts, concern etched across his face. “But seriously, what are you doing with her? Because it looks like you’re having a midlife crisis ten years too soon, and parading her around in front of all your friendsandyour ex feels like you’re trying to prove something.”
I slam my bottle down on the edge of the fire pit, glaring at the two men who were supposed to be my friends. Yeah, their wives might have made the choice for their couple about sticking with Jen, but I never thought that meant they actually sided with her.
“I’m not parading her around. My mom is in the hospital and she flew up to be with me, to help me through it. If I could go through all of this without involving Jenat all, I would have. That would have beenvery preferred. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone.”
“Look, we’re not trying to get you riled up,” Warren says, raising his hands as if he needs to calm a wild animal.
Which feels about right, because the way they’re talking makes me feel kind of wild.
“I just gotta know…where do you see this going?” Warren continues. “She’s what, 26?”
“24.”
He chuckles. “24. You think she’s gonna stick around here when your mom wakes up and needs months of physical therapy or something? Sure, she’s here in the crisis, to lick your wounds and drop to her knees for you, but you think she’s gonna drop her wholelifeif push comes to shove?”
