Page 65 of We Were Something
But then her hands move in another flurry.
“That even identical transplants only have a 56% survival rate,” Hannah says, “and we won’t know for sure until we see if my body rejects the donation.”
“Exactly. But I love the positive attitude. It will be important to keep that up when you’re dealing with some of the side effects,” he says, squeezing her hands before standing again and turning back to the crowd of us surrounding Ivy. “I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be a tough couple of weeks. For all of you. But I believe in this clinical trial, and I am very hopeful that it will significantly improve not only Ivy’s lifeexpectancy, but her actuallife.”
I hear a sniffle from my left and glance over at Remmy, finding a tear dripping down her cheek.
“You okay?” I whisper.
She nods, wiping away the streak of sadness and giving me a tight smile.
“I’m trying to stay positive, for Ben,” she tells me, her hand coming up and resting protectively on her belly. “But all I can think about is…if something like this happened to our baby, I’d be a fucking wreck, you know? And then I look at Vivian and…”
Her voice trails off as I turn my attention to Ivy’s mom.
Vivian Calloway has always been…distant. But as she sits in the corner, watching as her kids move around the room, her eldest son crossing to speak to Logan and her younger son plopping down on Ivy’s bed and signing something that makes her laugh, Vivian looks completely checked out.
Disinterested.
Like she has a million other places she’d rather be.
It makes me wonder if she’s even here for Ivy, or if she’s just here because she thinks sheshouldbe.
“I can’t imagine being like that, you know? So…cold?”
I nod, giving Remmy a shrug.
“The one thing I try to remind myself of when life is hard? Everyone grieves differently. You know? Maybe she’s doing everything she can to keep herself together even though her world is falling apart.”
Remmy thinks it over for a minute before nodding.
“Yeah, I can see that. I mean, I’ve had a few things in myownlife that I’m sure I handled differently than how other people thought I should.”
At that, I snort. “A few things?”
Her lips tilt up at the sides.
“My life has been a little more complicated than the drama you’ve been witness to,” she tells me, and even through her joking tone, I can see a deep, dark sadness in her eyes.
Lennon’s words come back to me, about how she’s trying to empathize with the things Remmy has been through, trying to learn to open herself back up to a relationship with the woman who has caused so many problems for us in the past.
Maybe this is my chance to do the same. Maybe this can be my first true attempt at learning to forgive when I’m not entirely sure the person deserves it.
“You’re right,” I tell her. “And I might love judging people with every bone in my body…”
Remmy laughs.
“…but I’m trying to get better about that,” I continue, bumping her lightly with my shoulder. “I truly am.”
We smile at each other, our shared interest in the Calloway family and this particular group of loved ones giving me just enough of a shove to set aside the petty drama from our past and move on.
There will probably be moments in the future when I forget about this attempt at forgiveness. When I’ll be too busy remembering the hurt and the pain she caused my friends. But each day is a chance to give someone grace, and today, that person is Remmy.
“Lucas? Hannah?” Logan waves them over and says a few words, handing each of them a piece of paper before they head out of the room, likely going to get their first injections of whatever that stuff was that he mentioned earlier.
“Hospital Shuttle at your service!” I call after them.“Text me when you’re ready to go.”
Hannah gives me a thumbs-up then links her arm in Lucas’, the two of them continuing off down the hall.
