Page 91 of Give My Everything
But in this moment, it doesn’t matter to me how this baby was created. It doesn’t matter to me that the choice wasn’t mine. It doesn’t even matter to me if I have to do it alone.
What matters is that the little heart beating on the screen is mine. My baby. My future. My sweet love.
And I will do everything in my power to make sure that little thing grows up with the best life it can possibly have.
A hand slips into mine, and I glance up, seeing Ben look down at me with awe in his face.
“That’s amazing,” he whispers, looking back at the screen, leaning forward to get a better look.
I still wonder if he really understands what he’s signed himself up for by asking me to marry him.
But if that joy and wonder in his eyes is any indication of the kind of father he will be?
I squeeze his hand back, and he turns to smile at me.
This. This is what was missing the first time I did this.
Someone to share it with.
Someone who cares about what happens.
Someone who sees this as an important moment.
Ben gets it. I can see it on his face.
In that goofy smile he seems to save just for me.
I close my eyes for just a second and let a few thankful tears fall. Because I knew Ben meant it when he told me I didn’t have to be alone anymore.
But now I actually believe it’s true.
Hermosa Beach is a beautiful place to live, but a good 50 to 60% of the homes remain unrenovated and in their original condition, which makes them look a little shabby and beaten down. Of the ones thatarerenovated, most do not attempt to change the exterior.
My eyes flit over the white paneled siding of Ben’s house, appreciating the delicate finishes that have clearly been made in the past few years.
This masterpiece…if I had to wager a guess, I’d bet money Ben did a complete teardown and rebuild. Or he had an incredibly skilled contractor. Either way, I’m impressed.
“You’ve already been here,” he says as I wander around taking in the front of his home.
“Yeah, but it was dark and I was throwing up in your bushes. I wasn’t exactly paying attention,” I reply, laughter in my voice.
I feel like I’m on cloud nine.
Things between me and Ben feel…different somehow, like the sex and the ultrasound have bonded us in a special way we didn’t have before. I may have had a little mental breakdown after the sex, but I mean…come on. It was still amazing up until that point.
Obviously, there’s a tiny voice within me that’s saying I shouldn’t get too emotionally wrapped up in how I feel right now. But, it’s rare for me to feel this good, so I’m gonna hold on to it with both hands.
“Alright, well this time I’ll give you a full tour that includes more than just the bushes and the toilet.”
I stick my tongue out at him as he unlocks his front door and we walk in.
It’s much larger on the inside than I was expecting, much more open and airy, though also a little more sterile.
From the outside, the property looks like it’s built for a family. It looks welcoming and warm with potted plants and a well-maintained yard, which is hard to do near the beach.
But inside, it’s high ceilings and white, white, white.
“You’re familiar with the entry bath,” Ben says, his eyes light and his tone teasing as he gestures to the place where I cleaned up after my time in the shrubbery. “Upstairs there are four bedrooms and three bathrooms. We can go up there in a minute, but downstairs there’s an office over here,” he continues, leading me down a short hall that opens into a spacious at-home office that’s beautifully decorated and clearly not used at all. “This is the laundry and garage area,” he adds, indicating the door across from the office.
