Page 72 of Give My Everything
I nod. “Yes. That will be a great way for us to be friends.”
Maybe I sound like an idiot, but I’m also hoping if I say the word ‘friends’ enough, maybe I won’t get a little flutter in my belly every time his eyes are focused on me.
I’m not in love with Ben, but my body definitely loves his, and I need to do everything I can to remind myself that it is off limits for forever. As sad as that is.
“I think we should limit any PDA outside of holding hands,” he adds. “Just to make sure we’re…keeping good boundaries. Since we’re going to be friends.”
My face flushes.
I know what he’s really saying. I know he’s using these neutral words to tell me I need to keep my hands and my mouth and my vagina to myself.
Unable to respond verbally because I’m dying of embarrassment, I give him a nod.
“I also think we should begin making arrangements for you to move in with me in the next week or two.”
I purse my lips and glare at him.
“Ben, I’ve already told you how I feel about this. I’d be fine with it, but my parents will not be. I hide enough from them. I don’t want to also cause them…” I wave my hand around. “…whatever added stress this might cause.”
When we originally spoke about me moving in with him, I hadn’t known him very well and used my parents as an excuse. Now, I may still not know a lot about him, but I feel like I’ve gotten a good picture of the kind of man he is, so I have no concerns about it happening eventually.
“Alright. Then at least keep it in the back of your mind as something I would like to happen sooner rather than later.”
I nod, though I don’t repeat myself. I just know my parents, and there’s no way in hell they’re going to agree to something like that.
“Back to the dates,” he says. “A friend of my family’s has an exhibit tomorrow night at Sheldon House. I’d like for us to go together.”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
He shifts in his seat. “It will also be a chance for you to meet my parents.”
“I’ve met them before.”
“Not as my fiancée.”
My eyebrows lift. “You want to introduce me as your fiancée? Already?”
He nods.
“But you haven’t even actually proposed.”
His head tilts to the side, and I realize what a stupid thing that was to say.
“Never mind. Whatever. You don’t think they’ll wonder what’s really going—”
“I don’t actually care what they think,” he says, waving my interrupted question away before I’m done asking it. “Besides, this shouldn’t be a big deal.”
But he doesn’t meet my eyes, instead picking at some imaginary lint on his shirt.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for your parents to know I’m your fiancée when I haven’t talked to my own family about it yet,” I say. “I’m worried they’ll find out somehow.”
Ben shakes his head. “We can’t put it off forever, Remmy. If you want to move forward with this, we have to move forward. If you want to tell your parents first, we can.”
I sigh, realizing he’s right. All I’m doing is delaying the inevitable. It’s not that I’m ashamed of being engaged to Ben. I just…hate the idea of telling my parents. There’s no telling how they’ll react.
“Alright. We’ll tell your parents, but I still need to think about mine, okay?”
Ben nods and stands, extending his hand to help me out of my chair. Then he walks to my door.
