Page 60 of Give My Everything
Me: Hi
I stare at my screen, wondering if I’m an idiot for sending something so damn basic, then slip my phone into my pocket before heading down to the front patio for breakfast.
My brother Dominic is sitting in the same place he always is. Back rigid, face clean-shaven, wearing a three-piece suit, he sips a cup of coffee and reads the paper as I approach the table.
“Morning,” I say, plopping down in a seat opposite him and lifting my feet to place them on the chair next to mine. “Is Julia making breakfast?”
My brother observes me over the top of his newspaper for only a moment before his eyes return to whatever is on the page.
“She is.”
“Perfect. I’mstarving,” I say, reaching over and plucking a strawberry from the bowl in front of Dom.
“Interesting.”
I expect him to say more, but he doesn’t. So I do the stupid thing and ask. “What’s interesting?”
“That you’re starving, considering you’ve been so sick every morning for the past few weeks.”
I freeze mid-chew, my eyes flying back to my brother, who is now looking at me again over the top of his newspaper, his expression far more neutral than would be natural for anyone.
“I’m glad to see you’re getting over that…stomach flu…or whatever it was,” he continues.
Just like that, whatever appetite I’d managed to drum up for myself dissolves, my throat growing dry.
Unfortunately, that’s the moment Julia decides to walk outside, a smile on her face. Always a smile, this one. The ultimate optimist in the face of anything and everything.
As present as my parents were throughout the course of my life and as much as I love them, it was Julia who was around for much of my childhood. She was the person I told my secrets to when I was younger.
If I were going to pick anyone in this house to talk to about the pregnancy first, it would be Julia, even though I wish it could be my mother. Although, if Dominic is implying what I assume he’s implying, I may not get a choice in deciding who knows what and when.
“Morning, sweetie. What can I get you for breakfast, hmmm?”
I smile at her, but my face feels brittle. “Just some scrambled eggs and orange juice. Do we have any muffins?”
“No, but I just made some croissants this morning.”
“Perfect.”
She heads back inside, and it takes all of my energy to look back at my brother, who is no longer watching me.
I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Maybe I was assuming something. Right? Like the guilty person who thinks everyone is looking at them. It’s all in my own mind.
I pull out my phone and start flicking through my social media accounts. I’m not very active, rarely posting or sharing anything. I use it more as a way to watch the world than to share. I don’t like to share.
Josslyn sent me a picture of the art store where I used to work and a message saying she hates walking by knowing I’m not there.
A text confirmation for a hair appointment at H2O this week.
I sit up straighter when I see what else.
An email from my advisor at Alta Mesa encouraging me to apply for a graduate program.
At that, I can’t help but grin.
I’ve been feeling a little discombobulated about the future recently, and this feels like a reminder that not everything in life is so chaotic.
Not that Ihaveto go to grad school. Or have a job, for that matter. But I can’t imagine not doing anything and just continuing to live at home here with no true care about the future. Some of my friends do that—just live off their inheritance and their parents.
