Page 52 of Give My Everything
When we park in his space behind Bennie’s, he leaves the car running, the silence between us filling the space like it’s a living thing.
He looks…wounded. Maybe a little unsure. And for a moment, I worry that what I said made him feel guilty, like I was expecting him to feel more for me, to feel anything for me.
“I didn’t say that earlier to make you feel bad. I just…” My words trail off, my mind scrambling to try to make sense of how I feel.
Howhemakes me feel.
“You said you know exactly how I see things between us,” he interrupts, his eyes focused straight ahead, the tail end of the setting sun blazing a light straight in his eyes. He shakes his head. “I actually think youdon’tknow how I see things, because if you did, you’d run far away from me.”
My stomach dips at his words, at what they mean.
“There is a part of me—a big part—that would love nothing more than to take you home and throw you on my bed.”
My lips part in surprise.
“But I can’t give you what you want, and going that route would do nothing but hurt us both.”
“What do I want?” I ask, my voice a whisper.
I honestly want to know what he thinks I want from him and how it can possibly be any different than what he wants from me. It has been at least two months since I’ve been with anyone, and all I want is for him to slip between my thighs and pull me away from the worries on my mind.
I want him to distract me.
And I think he could use a little distracting, too.
Instead of answering, he laughs—but it reeks of something sour. Something tainted. Something twisted and dark.
“What all women want.”
It’s all he says before he turns off the car and steps out, the door closing with a soft thud.
I don’t understand what he means by that. What do all women want? I could assure him that whateverIwant is probably vastly different than what someone like Hannah wants. Or Paige. Or Lennon. Or Josslyn.
And honestly, I don’t know what I want, so how could I even answer that for myself?
The passenger door opens and Ben’s hand appears. I take it as he helps me out of the car.
Then he surprises me by leaning in and pressing his lips against mine, his hand coming up to cup the side of my face.
“We’ll figure it out, okay? Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
My heart softens, because whatever is going on between us…it freaks him out, too.
Maybe I don’t have to be so uncomfortable or nervous, because like Ben told me as I sat crying on his couch like a total mess, I don’t have to feel those things alone.
It feels like the entire city has come out tonight. There’s a market going on in the promenade with live music and food stands. I can see a crew setting up the massive screen and speakers over near the base of the pier.
We wander through the crowd, hand in hand.
It might not be our first date, but it is definitely our first true night out on the town, surrounded by crowds of people who are likely seeing us together for the first time.
And we play our parts to perfection.
We laugh and point things out to each other. We chitchat with locals and people who frequent Bennie’s.
He gets a thing of popcorn and tries to feed me pieces by chucking them into my mouth, then blames me for missing because I can’t stop giggling.
He smiles a lot. I smile a lot.
