Page 113 of Give My Everything
She giggles. “I shouldn’t be laughing because I’m sure that was horrible, but it sounds like a movie.”
I roll my eyes. “It felt like a movie. She came to me in tears a few weeks later, trying to apologize, asking for forgiveness, but I knew it was just because she realized my dad might be the better mark financially but was less likely to marry her. She tried to come back to me because she realized she’d screwed up her own plan to be taken care of and be handed a big, rich life. Thankfully for her,” I add, sarcasm evident in my tone, “it all worked out just fine in the end.”
Remmy pokes my arm.
“Clearly not if she’s coming up to you in dark hallways trying to show you her boobies.”
“She wasnottrying to show me her boobies.”
“Um, she wasabsolutelytrying to show you her boobies. That’s just Homewrecker 101, and I know because I’ve been in her shoes.”
My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
She sighs. “The boyfriend—my RA’s boyfriend…I wanted his attention so I shoved my tits in his face.”
“Didn’t you tell me you had no idea he was dating someone?”
Remmy pauses. “Well…yeah, but—”
“No buts. You didn’t intentionally go after someone who was taken.”
“Technically, neither did Krissa. Weren’t your parents already divorced?”
“Yes, but she was datingmeat the time.”
Remmy waves her hand around and then points at herself.
“Did you not hear my entire story about me cheating on Lucasmultipletimes?” she asks.
Something thick and ugly crawls through my chest at the thought.
“That’s different,” I argue.
“Why? Because I’d been raped and I was using my sexuality to be in charge of my body? Sure, that makes it different forme, but that doesn’t make it different for Lucas—the guy I was cheating on. He didn’t deserve that, not at all, and I don’t deserve to be forgiven for it just because my life was hard.”
Her voice is strong, and it makes me admire her even more.
Maybe I shouldn’t.
Maybe I should look at her situation and think to myself,The last thing I need to do is get involved with someone who has cheated when I struggle with trusting women.
But I can’t.
Remmy feels different.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe she isn’t different and I’m setting myself up for another colossal fall.
I guess that’s the risk you take when you’re falling in love, right? You’re…
My throat closes up.
Wait.
What the fuck did I just…?
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to freak you out. I told you I went to therapy to deal with a lot of that. I don’t want to be that person, okay?”
But I feel frozen.
