Page 86 of Be Your Anything
This time, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put them out.
I spend hours in the water, only coming back in when it’s too dark for me to see the waves any longer, when the sun has long since set and my muscles are fatigued from the paddling and pushing against the waves.
In the end, Remmy and I settled on her moving back in with her parents at first. She agreed that moving in with me might be too much too fast, a little overwhelming.
But now I’m left with not enough time.
Not enough time to tell Lennon everything’s going to change and the relationship we have is never going to be the same.
The pinch in my chest as I take a seat on my couch is enough to make me feel like I might buckle over.
I wasn’t expecting to feel like this.
To be so emotional.
So upset.
To start to question each decision and step I’ve taken to get to this point.
And I don’t know what to do.
CHAPTER18
LENNON
I agree to meet my dad for dinner on Friday night, but I pick a restaurant in Manhattan Beach, a place I don’t frequent often, not wanting the eyes of Hermosa to be watching us.
I considered inviting him over and making dinner, or maybe catering something in so we’d have some privacy, but I want the ability to leave if I get upset. I can’t do that if I invite him into my home.
I spot him when I pull up to the valet, waiting out front.
Nathan Day looks exactly like I thought he would in a pair of expensive jeans and a blazer. He’s tall, was a professional basketball player when he was younger, and he always jokes about how I got my looks from him and my height from my mom.
I really do look just like him, my olive skin and brown hair definitely a gift from the Day family and not part of the Roth genetics.
He grins when he sees me, so I try to return it, giving him a hug when I get to the doorway.
“Perfect timing. They just told me our table’s ready,” he says, stepping to the side and pulling the door open for me. “This place looks great, honey. I love breweries. Good choice.”
We follow the waitress through the restaurant, the lighting low and the space filled with casual diners. There’s a bar and some large televisions broadcasting sports and a whole wall of beer kegs.
Beachside Brewing is a newer restaurant in the South Bay. I’ve been meaning to come here with Paige and the other girls since I’ve heard they’ve got a great vegetarian section on their menu, but the timing just hasn’t worked out with how busy I’ve been.
“You been here before?” my dad asks as we settle into a spot in the corner, his long legs bumping the table briefly as he gets comfortable.
“Not yet,” I say, trying to stay friendly. “I’ve been wanting to bring the girls here, but I’ve been busy with work.”
He nods, his eyes roving the beer list, and I can tell he’s already somewhat tuned me out.
That’s how it has always been between us. He half listens, only partially pays attention, only really jumping into a conversation once it’s a topic he’s interested in.
Like himself. His career. His money.
I’ve never known someone as self-absorbed as he is, and I live in a world filled to the brim with desperate housewives and Kardashian wannabes.
I pick up the menu and take a peek, deciding to just let him lead the evening instead of prodding him to get to the point. When the waitress comes by, I order a light beer, hoping something floral and bright will lift my mood.
“So how’ve you been, Lennon?” he asks, setting his menu to the side and finally giving me his full attention.
