Page 49 of Be Your Anything
So I stand, bite the inside of my cheek to focus myself, and give the girls a tight smile.
“I’m gonna take off,” I say, my voice sounding labored.
I can barely contain myself.
“Oh come on, Len, you know—”
“I know,” I say, interrupting Paige. Then I look around at all the eyes looking at me. “But I’m still gonna head out.”
As I step out from my seat and walk past the group, I give Ji-Eun’s shoulder a squeeze. I know that girl—she’s going to be feeling pretty shitty tomorrow, and not just because of a hangover.
CHAPTER10
LENNON
Walking out of Harbor’s, I head to the right, even though my car is parked with the valet.
To the right is the pier, the long stretch that reaches out into the ocean and gives pedestrians a unique and special view of Hermosa Beach as it stretches north towards Manhattan, Santa Monica, and Venice.
I used to love riding my bike down here when I was a kid. My nanny’s daughter was my closest friend, and we would get on our bikes and ride down during the summers, eager to get to the craft fairs and farmer’s markets. That was before they did the construction that made it as beautiful as it is now, filled with palm trees and benches and areas to relax.
As I got older, it was Lucas or Paige who accompanied me, and we’d wander through the events with too much money for children to understand, buying ridiculous shit and having it delivered to our homes then popping into the little convenience stores to buy up just about all the goodies we could carry home in my basket.
Now, I try to hop on my bike and head this way a few times a month, though I don’t always have the time, especially with everything that’s going on at work with the upcoming events list and responsibilities on my docket.
I’ve always loved this town. Leaving was one of the most difficult things I ever did.
You’d think with all the experience I’ve had traveling solo, it wouldn’t have been so hard to head off to college, but for me, it was definitely difficult, and not just because I hate flying.
You hear a lot about homesickness at college. They talk about that transitional period during orientation and try to reassure you that it will pass.
Mine never did.
Sure, I pushed through. I made a life for myself. Had friends. Dated a little. Participated in the fun shenanigans that happen when you’re in a sorority.
But that feeling never really left.
I came home for holidays and felt my body finally relax. I flew into town for my mom’s birthday and never wanted to leave the house.
And what’s crazy about it all?
I knew I wasn’t homesick.
Because isn’t homesickness supposed to be about the home you grew up in? Wanting to be back in that environment that was so warm and safe growing up?
Yeah, that definitely wasn’t me.
Maybe I was townsick. Citysick. Beachsick.
I was something.
I craved being back here.
But it wasn’t until I started going to girls’ nights at Harbor’s that I realized what I’d been missing was my relationships with these specific girls.
Yes, the town is amazing. I love it here. But it wasn’t my family’s desire for me to work at the foundation that swayed my decision the most when deciding what to do next. It was my friendships that drew me back.
Knowing Paige was still here and Rebecka was back in town as well, knowing Ji-Eun was going to have a home base here while her travel blogging business takes her across the globe…it just made the decision to come home feel like the right one.
