Page 47 of Be Your Anything
With Lucas, it’s different.
I give him one tiny expression and he’s on the same wavelength, willing to slip into a role just as quickly as I am. It’s one of the reasons our sex is so explosive, why I always crave him.
Though I’m sure the fact that I’m crazy in love with him plays a part, too.
But that part doesn’t get to be involved tonight.
No. When I see Lucas tonight, I need to be totally in the right headspace.
Not like that little slipup I had when he was leaving my office on Monday.
He barely evensaidanything, but what hedidsay—Consider me a candidate to distract you any time—just turned that little knob that connects to my heart one click too far, the subtle reminder that he doesn’t actually belong to me.
On Monday, I let how I feel about Lucas get in the way.
Tonight, I won’t let that happen. Tonight, it’ll just be about the fun. The chase. The end goal.
Us, in bed. His or mine, it doesn’t matter. Just as long as we’re together.
It might be girls’ night, but that doesn’t mean I can’t figure out a way to make something happen later.
If I know Lucas, he’ll be heading to The Wave with Otto tonight. Maybe I should convince him to swing by and see me.
My smile stretches as I walk in my front door, a plan coming to mind—one I like the sound of very much.
Me: Wanna skip The Wave tonight and come by Harbor’s instead?
It only takes a few seconds for a response that has me grinning like a fool.
Lucas: Nothing could keep me away
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“I don’t even know why you put up with her. Why don’t you just ask your mom to let her go?”
I roll my eyes at Rebecka’s completely irrational suggestion, wishing I hadn’t given in to the temptation to divulge the true reason behind my bad mood to my group of girlfriends.
I’m normally pretty careful about sharing shit like this, especially in public, where anyone could hear us.
But the booth off in the corner at Harbor’s is secluded enough that I’m not worried about anyone overhearing, and my frustration with Ellison is no secret from this circle of friends.
“I’m not going to just tell my mother to fire someone whotechnicallyhasn’t done anything wrong,” I reply, lifting my wine glass to my lips. But then I pause before I take a sip. “Though I can dream about it in my sleep, for sure.”
She laughs, lifting her own glass in a little cheers, a gesture of solidarity. I love Rebecka. Sometimes she can say things that sound so snobby, but she really is a sweetheart and one of the best girlfriends anyone could have.
Wednesday nights have been my favorite nights, recently. I’ve always been a girly girl, love dressing up, going out with friends, hitting the spa, and going shopping.
But it wasn’t until I left for college that I realized some of the reasons I enjoyed those things was because of this specific group of girls. At Brown, I wasn’t surrounded by the same fierce love and support that always meant safety and happiness.
Instead, when navigating my way through the sorority world, I was confronted regularly by the Ellison Marie Tillmans of the world: elitist trust fund babies with black AmEx cards and yachts and homes in Greece.
Okay, so maybe I have those things, too, but I don’t treat the people I interact with like I’m better than them just because I have money and access and the option to never work a day in my life if I don’t want to.
And these girls? They’re the same as me…for the most part. Except for things like what Rebecka just said.
Although I’m not entirely sure she really means it. Or, if shedoesmean it, she wouldn’t actually ever do it herself. Because she really is an absolute sweetheart.
“You know, Ellison’s fiancé is on the board at the hospital with my dad,” Ji-Eun chimes in.
