Page 89 of Be Your Anything
He doesn’t respond, just watches me, and I see that hard swallow he does, how uncomfortable he looks.
“Fine. You don’t want to tell me? I’ll just pick a number. How’s that?”
I scribble some more, writing it out for a few hundred thousand. Then I rip it out of the book with a flourish and stand up, slapping it down on the table in front of him.
I lean forward so my face is closer to his.
“I’m telling you right now: if you cash this check, I willneverspeak to you again.”
He remains mute, just watching me as I spin around and grab my purse, storming out of the restaurant with a dramatic flourish, without a care in the world for who saw me.
When Lucas answers the door, I don’t even give him a minute to process that I’m there.
“Pretend I’m a prostitute,” I say, and then I pounce on him. I push him inside and slam the door.
All I can think about is getting rid of these emotions, focusing on something good and beautiful and perfect.
Like how I feel about Lucas.
If that means I have to play a role in order for him to be with me, I’ll do it.
It doesn’t take us long to make our way upstairs, to crawl into his bed, to lose ourselves in each other.
I tease him, taunt him, stretch things out until he can barely breathe, barely speak. And when he finally tips over the edge, it’s with a shout. He cries out as if he’s almost startled by his own orgasm, his eyes glued to mine.
When my own rolls through me like waves of thunder, it’s a fight to hold back the tears that want to break free.
Only when we’re lying naked and sated on his bed, staring up at the ceiling while we try to catch our breath, do I apologize.
“Sorry for just…attacking you,” I say, giving him a smile and letting out a little laugh, embarrassment heating my cheeks when I remember my actions when I arrived earlier.
He tilts to the side, his eyes roving over my face. “I love when you attack me.”
It’s then I realize there’s a sadness behind his eyes I didn’t see earlier, or maybe I ignored it in favor of getting what I needed from him.
“You okay?” I ask.
He takes a moment to answer, and even then he only gives me a nod. “You wanna do something fun tomorrow? Just you and me?”
I grin. “Absolutely. I feel like I need to do something fun.”
He gives me a small smile. “What sounds fun to you?”
I try to search through my mind for an idea, but I feel too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to come up with anything.
So I say the first thing that pops into my head.
“You wanna go to the country club? Get in a round?”
Lucas laughs. “You can golf?”
I nod. “I learned when I was younger, yeah.”
One hand reaches out and strokes my cheek, and I can’t help but lean into his touch, my soul always enjoying the feel of his hands on my skin.
“Yeah, let’s go golfing tomorrow.”
Then he pulls me into him and presses a kiss to my lips. It doesn’t take long for the flame of desire to build back up, and then we’re losing ourselves in each other again.
