Page 63 of Be Your Anything
The last thing I want is to be his mistress.
Exactly what Ji-Eun implied earlier this evening.
But there’s another part of me that feels thankful that he isn’t here to break things off, that feels excited about taking him upstairs to the bed I wish he would sleep in every night.
And it’s that part of my soul—the piece of me that’s more in love with him than I am with myself—that knows I will never be able to forgive what I’m about to do.
I smirk at him and step to the side, inviting him into my home as a faux repairman who will handle my pipes.
The loud thud of the door closing behind him is what lets me know that after tonight, a part of me will be lost in him that I’ll never be able to get back.
CHAPTER13
LUCAS
Otto and I meet up early on the Fourth to get in some surfing, knowing the holiday crowd will surge in to fill up the beach in record time.
I’m thankful for the time in the water, for the moments I get to myself to clear my mind.
Especially after my night with Lennon.
A rush of cold covers my body, and I know it isn’t just from the early morning Pacific.
I don’t know exactly what made me change direction last night, rerouting myself to Lennon’s when I should have gone straight home. All I knew was what I wanted, and that was to see out my original plan for the evening.
I sat in the car for nearly twenty minutes, parked out front of her house, finally going in only when I saw the same curtains twitch a third time at her next-door neighbor’s, wanting tonothave the cops called on me.
When she opened the door, I didn’t know what to say.
Hi, I know my girlfriend is in town, but I’d rather be here with you than with her.
Hi, can we go upstairs so you can do that thing I love?
Hi, all I can think about is you.
Ultimately, I settled on just going with the first word, unable to decide on anything else of value.
And then I blurted out that thing about being a plumber. What the fuckwasthat?
I’ve never felt like more of an asshole than I did in that moment when I watched her face scrunch up in confusion.
Sure, Lennon and I engage in role play—exclusively, actually. I can’t think of any time we’ve fooled around when some sort of characterization didn’t exist, but normally she initiates it, and it’s always sexy. Like that time she pretended I was a cop and needed to do a strip search, or when she pretended to be a virgin on prom night.
Originally, I thought it would be a good tie-in since she referenced the plumber earlier in the evening, but after I said it? I felt like an idiot.
Thankfully, she went along with it, turning our evening into another round of amazing sex with her bent over the kitchen island.
Her mouth is so fucking dirty. Only she could turn something cheesy into another hot night that had my toes curling, that left a little mark on my lip from where I probably nearly bit through it as I came.
There was a moment, though, when she first saw me at the door…there was something so beautiful on her face. I don’t know what it was, but I do know something shifted in her when she realized why I was there.
It wasn’t something I really thought about until later, when I was crawling into my own bed and trying not to feel like a slimy piece of shit for sleeping with Lennon after dropping Remmy off at home.
“You okay?”
Otto’s question has me realizing I haven’t moved in a while, so I shift slightly, dunking down into the water and then coming back up so I’m flat on my board.
“Yeah. Let’s do this.”
