Page 60 of Be Your Anything
If I know Remmy, and I think I do, I can tell based on how she just squared her shoulders that she didn’t miss Hannah’s well-placed barb.
“You’re staying at Wyatt’s tonight?” I interject, hoping to shift this weird wavelength, this discomfort between all of us.
Hannah nods, tucking herself further into Wyatt’s side. “Yeah. I got the day off tomorrow, so I’ll be here all day.”
“Perfect.”
There’s a pause, a gap of silence, and I can see my sister looking at Remmy with assessing eyes. When she finally speaks, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“It was nice to meet you, Remmy. I look forward to getting to know you better.”
“You, too,” Remmy says.
Then Hannah and Wyatt turn and head out the door to the courtyard, closing it softly behind them as they depart.
“I think I’m gonna head out, too.” Remmy walks across the living room and grabs her purse off the counter in the kitchen before she turns back and looks at me. “I still have to visit my parents and”—she glances at her watch, a rose gold Bvlgari I gave her for Christmas—“it’s already nearing ten.”
“Sure,” I say, feeling anything but. “I’ll give you a ride.”
We spend the drive to her parents’ house in silence, Remmy looking out the passenger window, her forehead pressed to the glass. It’s one of those rare evenings in Southern California when we get a little bit of nighttime drizzle, and the dots on the windshield make the evening lights twist and turn.
“Thanks for bringing me home.”
“No problem,” I say, watching as she leans close and presses a soft, chaste kiss to my lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She slips out of the passenger door, gives me a little wave, and heads up the walk.
I know I should go in with her, say hello to Robert and Mariana, be the friendly boyfriend…but I just can’t muster up the energy this evening.
Instead, I back out of the driveway and head along Remmy’s street with every intention of going home.
And then, at the end of the road, instead of going left, back the direction I just came from, I turn right.
CHAPTER12
LENNON
I don’t think I ever really thought this part through.
The part that happens when she comes back to town.
The part when I’m obligated to step to the side. Keep my feelings to myself. Look away.
It makes me feel icky. Like how I feel about Lucas is this dark, shameful thing. A secret. Something that must be kept hidden, locked away for only myself to think about when I’m alone.
Which is what I’m doing now as I sit in my pajamas on my bedroom balcony, nursing a second glass of my favorite Bordeaux, my third of the night if I include the drink I had at Harbor’s.
I lean my head back and look up into the night sky then close my eyes and listen to the sound of the waves as they crash against the shore in the distance.
This place is one of my biggest points of pride. Most of my friends still live with their parents or in places their parents own, but I bought my own house.
Sure, I bought it with money I inherited from my grandmother, but that’s not the point. The point is I made a smart choice with that money instead of throwing it all at something stupid, like a yacht.
Although yachts are pretty amazing.
My house is a three-bedroom right on the edge of Hermosa and Manhattan. I own the street-facing house on a split beachfront lot, which means my second floor has a great view of the ocean but I’m not able to step right out to The Strand, the long path for walkers and joggers and bikers that divides the homes from the public beach.
Instead, I use a tiny walkway between my house and the one next door that leads down and opens right out to exactly where I want to be. So, even though I’m not beachfront,I have immediate beachaccess, and that’s good enough for me.
