Page 5 of Be Your Anything
Truthfully, I haven’t been a very good brother so far. When I first found out about her, back when we were in high school, I pretended she didn’t exist, opting to do what felt easiest for me and my life. Then I contacted her only once I wanted something, though I didn’t tell her that. And when she finally got here, expecting to build a relationship with a brother she never knew…well, I let her down.
But now I have another chance, thankfully, another opportunity to show her I can be a good big brother and continue to prove to her that she belongs here.
Just like that time when I was a kid trying to stand up on my board, I don’t give up easily. Having my sister here, living with me…it feels right, and I don’t want to lose that again.
The happiness she brings to my world.
The relationship we’re starting to slowly build.
Learning to surf taught me important lessons about how I should approach the world, and having Hannah here is teaching me about how I should approach relationships and family.
I’ve never really had that before.
Now that she’s probablyalsogoing to be giving Wyatt a second chance, too, I’ll be learning what it’s like to be a big brother when your sister is dating your friend.
Nowthatis a lesson I’m not looking forward to.
With the summer halfway over and my upcoming training before surf season begins, I know figuring out how to shift my schedule around to make sure she’s a priority is going to start getting complicated.
I sigh.
It’s days like today that make me feel like I have no idea how to be an adult, because all I want to do is just keep floating in the ocean instead of paddling in and dealing with the shitstorm I created myself.
My eyes flit over to where Otto stands alone on the shore near the lifeguard tower.
I wave to indicate I’m heading in, resigned to the fact that my time in the ocean is done for the day.
Even though I’d like a little bit longer, just for me, the sun is starting to dip in the sky, and I know Hannah will be back from work soon.
If I’m going to make changes, it has to start now.
“I’m telling you right now, I don’t care who the girl is—I’m never gonna dance like an asshole with my friends just so I can get laid.”
Hannah bursts into laughter and I follow suit, my stomach still aching from our earlier amusement at the bird mating performances we’ve been watching onOur Planet.
“Oh, comeon,” she says, her hands resting on her middle as she fights to calm herself. “I cansopicture you, Wyatt, and Otto dressed in those barbershop quartet outfits and putting on a show.”
She mimics lifting a boater hat on and off her head a few times as I continue to chuckle and roll my eyes.
Leaning forward, I grab my empty glass off the coffee table. “Not a chance in hell,” I say, my eyes narrowing in faux displeasure. “I don’t dance. I don’t sing. I don’t put on a show.” I smirk. “Unless you count surfing, because when I’m on the waves, you know it’s entertainment.”
“I’m calling it now,” she hollers after me as I head into the kitchen. “Someday, you’re gonna use this exact method of song and dance to redeem yourself. Mark my words!”
I shake my head, refilling my glass with two fingers of the ’66 Dalmore Single Malt Otto gifted to me for my birthday earlier this year. Normally, I only pull out the good stuff for celebrations, but it just sounded perfect today, even if Hannah took a whiff and told me it smells like ass.
Glancing across the open space, I watch my sister as I take a small sip, the subtle notes of ginger and licorice coating my throat.
Hannah’s hair is still damp from the shower and she’s wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a loose shirt. I’ve seen this look on her often over the course of this summer. In the time she’s been living with me, her post-work exhaustion has regularly resulted in her immediately changing into pajamas and lazing around the house for the night.
What’s different this time is the smile on her face.
She’s been here two months, almost to the day, and she’s always had this uncertain expression, especially when she thought no one was looking.
I’d see her staring at the sunset on one of the loungers outside, or sitting on the couch after work with the TV on but not even watching it. Her mind was elsewhere, thinking about something big and complicated, possibly wondering about her future or feeling worried about what’s next.
Now though? She’s been smiling all damn day, it seems like.
From the moment she and Wyatt returned from the pier this afternoon, hand in hand, she’s been nothing but teeth and cheeks and squinty eyes.
