Page 43 of Be Your Anything
“Yeah. Do you remember what life was like when you were thirteen? Because I do, and girls that age were terrifying.”
Hannah just looks at me, and I wrinkle my nose when I realize what I said.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“I know you didn’t,” she says, her eyes getting a somewhat distant look, one I recognize instantly because she gets it when she’s remembering what her life was like back then when she was in foster care, her parents and brother long gone.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, knowing I should have been there when she was twelve and lost her brother. I should have found a way to get her out of the foster system, figured out a way for her to have a better life than the shit she was handed—shit I’ve only been getting little peeks at but of which I’m certain there is a much deeper level I haven’t heard about yet.
She doesn’t really like to talk about it, only giving out bits and pieces here and there, so I do what I know she wants. I shift the conversation away from that and back to Ivy.
“Hannah, I want a relationship with Ivy. I do. I always have. But it didn’t used to be something I was allowed to have. Vivian approached me once. Did I ever tell you about that?”
She shakes her head.
I think back to that day when Vivian Calloway—Ben, Wyatt, and Ivy’s mom—approached me, made sure I wasn’t going to tell Ivy we were related. She’s a frightening woman, so it makes sense what Ben said to me earlier today.
“She told me if I ever thought about telling Ivy that I’m her brother, the entire Calloway name would come full force to bury me. I mean, she can absolutely go fuck herself, but this, now, is the first time I’ve been able to spend time with Ivy when our relationship is shared knowledge between us. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
She nods.
“Besides, I need to learn some sign language. I felt like an absolute dick sitting here while you guys all used your fucking hands. I didn’t know half of what was being said.”
“Sorry,” she apologizes. “Normally I’m better at translating, but—”
“It’s not your fault,” I interrupt. “It’sminefor not having learned before now.”
There’s a lull of silence and Hannah slips down from where she sits.
“I think I’m gonna head to bed,” she says. “I’m pretty tired and I have to work a double tomorrow so I can have the Fourth off.”
“Hey, before you go, I was wondering…” I clear my throat. “Would you ever want to go surfing? Together?”
She doesn’t say anything.
“I mean, I was thinking it could be a good way for us to spend some more time together, and Henry taught me so…I don’t know. I was chatting with Paige about it this morning and I realized it might be a good thing, something for us to do together, something we both share with him.”
Hannah stays silent, and I can see her trying to decide.
“No pressure. And you don’t have to tell me now. I just… Maybe think about it?”
She slowly nods. “I’ll think about it.”
“Thanks.” Then I cross the space between us and tug her in for a hug. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, you know. When I say no pressure, I mean it.”
I can feel her shoulders relax and she wraps her arms around me.
Hannah’s never been very affectionate, at least since I’ve known her, but she doesn’t seem too resistant anymore when I try to embrace her, which I like. Hopefully it means she’s starting to appreciate physical affection rather than shy away from it.
Though with her past, I can understand where she’s coming from.
She pulls back and gives me a smile. “Night, Lucas.” Then she trails up the stairs.
I take a few minutes to wander around downstairs, turning off the lights and locking the doors, then follow after her. When I get to the top of the steps, I cross the landing and head to my own room.
One of the things I love about this house is the master bedroom.
A massive king size bed dominates the space, facing a set of double-wide sliding doors leading out to a separate deck that faces the ocean.
