Page 39 of Be Your Anything
“And before you even go there,” she adds, holding up a single finger, “I just want to make it clear that Lennon had nothing to do with it. It was that Adrianna chick who’s always gagging for your dick.”
I nearly choke again. “Her name is Adrina, and she’s not—” I laugh, unable to hold it back. “She’s notgaggingfor my dick.”
Paige gives me another face. “God, you’re oblivious sometimes. Adrina’s little cousin was one of the Girl Scouts at the Dive-In Movie and she was in the school and saw you and Lennon coming out of Mrs. Ralforth’s classroom. Apparently Adrina was hoping that meant you were fair game, but you haven’t so much as breathed in anyone else’s direction since then. So yeah, as soon as she realized she wasn’t going to be able to cut the line and get a taste, she spread the word like wildfire, so everyone knows you two have been boinking.”
I reach for the water that has remained untouched next to my heavy pour of whiskey and take a hearty swig, hoping to sort out whatever feels like it’s lodged in my throat. Though honestly, downing the entire glass of liquor in one go sounds like a better idea.
“I don’t know why it matters,” Paige adds. “I mean, you and Remmy have an open relationship, and as much as you like to think that isn’t common knowledge, it definitely is. She’s been fucking other guys up in Santa Barbara for years. What’s the problem if you get your rocks off too?”
I let out a frustrated sigh.
Everything about this conversation makes me uncomfortable. Normally, I’m an open book, willing to chat about whatever, but this is just…not something I put out there.
I rarely talk about my relationship with Remmy to anyone, Paige being one of the few. I can see how it doesn’t make sense to anyone but us, why it seems silly on the outside, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a rhyme or reason for why we’ve made the choices we have. It might not be the usual, but it works for us.
Things with Remmy have never beennormal.
She was a year behind me at Roth Prep, and we dated for my junior and senior year, and then during her senior year. We wanted to stay together when she moved the few hours up to Santa Barbara for college. She was the first and only girl I’d slept with, and I’ve never been one of those ‘sow your oats’ kind of guys, so a two-and-a-half-hour drive between us felt like nothing.
But then she called me halfway through her freshman year and said she’d slept with someone—afewsomeones, actually—and wanted to have an open relationship.
At the time, I felt conflicting emotions about it. Part of me was angry, knowing she’d already slept with other guys, especially after we’d already worked through the cheating from earlier in our relationship.
But the other part of me liked the idea of a little sexual freedom, especially since I’d been gaining notoriety in the surf community and the women had been parading themselves in front of me in little bikinis for months.
Remmy always had an insatiable sexual appetite, so the part of me that cared about her wanted to give her whatever I could to make her life easier. It also didn’t hurt that I no longer felt the pressure of staying abstinent while on surf tours that put me in the direct path of a lot of attractive women.
It was a hard conversation, a hard decision, but we agreed. We were still dating, but we could sleep with other people when we weren’t together.
That conversation was just over five years ago, when we were eighteen and nineteen years old, just kids with our whole lives in front of us.
More than half of our relationship has been spent apart, growing up, leading very different lives. So, if I’m brutally honest, I don’t know if there is really anormalto go back to.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I want sex to be something that’s kept away from the Hermosa Beach gossip machine. Remmy and I never advertised our open relationship to the masses. It just kind of…slowly trickled out there. Who I’m sleeping with isn’t anybody’s business.
Besides, I don’t like that everyone assumes I’m going to sleep with every pair of legs that spreads for me just because my girlfriend wants an open relationship. It didn’t take very long for the novelty of ‘sleeping with anyone I want’ to wear off. There have only been a few girls, and Lennon is the only person I’m sleeping with right now.
Though until my conversation with Otto yesterday and now this one with Paige, I wasn’t aware that anyone was paying that close of attention.
Paige leans forward and catches my gaze, bringing me back to right now, in the yacht club.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she says, her voice a bit softer, without so much of a frustrated edge.
I sigh. “Yeah, Remmy and I have an open relationship, which isn’t a massive secret, but that doesn’t mean I want to…” I search, trying to find the right word. “…disrespect her. I’m surrounded by her family and friends, and she’ll be coming back at some point. It doesn’t feel right to flaunt sleeping around with someone she’ll have to face once she comes home.”
There’s a pause.
“I appreciate that Lucas, I really do. I’ve always thought you were a guy with a really steady moral compass, much more steady than some of the other douches we know. Cough, Giroux, cough.”
I shake my head at her ridiculous jab.
“But while you’re waiting for Remmy to figure herself out or find herself or whatever it is she’s doing, maybe just consider for a second that being in your shoes—waiting on someone else—isn’t a fun place to be.”
My brow furrows, unsure if I heard her correctly.
“What are you talking about?”
She looks at me across the table with a sad expression on her face before she finally shakes her head. “Never mind.”
