Page 125 of Be Your Anything
“Lucas,” I say, my voice a whisper.
A riot of emotions crashes through my body, feelings I wasn’t expecting. But before I can say anything else, before I can decide if there’s something I want to say in response, he adds one more thing.
“And Lennon? The reason I’m calling is to make sure you check the paper tomorrow.” I don’t say anything, my mind racing. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
The following morning, I’m at the deli down the street at five, waiting for the South Bay Tribune to appear in the racks. When the delivery men pull up, unloading the stacks into the little plastic bins, I wait patiently for them to drive away before I grab one and flip through it, skimming and scanning and trying to find whatever Lucas is talking about.
Before I finally get to the center spread. To the full, two-page ad. And that’s when I call Paige.
“It’s genius.”
“It’s amazing.”
“I’m jealous.”
“I hate you all.”
The girls start laughing, and I rest my face in my hands, trying to process everything.
Of course, the minute I got off the phone with a groggy and somewhat irritated Paige, she called Rebecka and Ji-Eun, enlisting them in a drop-in breakfast this morning, insisting that Lucas’ two-page ad is worth skipping Monday Mournings with the boys.
“Seriously, guys. I don’t know how I feel about this,” I say, my eyes scanning over the spread.
“Look, Lennon, he dideverythingright here,” Paige insists. “He didn’t mention you by name, not obligating you to show up. He’s donating a ton of money to two awesome causes. I mean…what else do you want?”
Everything Paige says is true. I’m just…still not sure how I should feel.
Lucas took out a two-page ad announcing that he’s participating in the pier-to-pier swim and taking a temporary break from surfing because he wants to dedicate his time and attention towooingthe woman he loves.
He’s raising money that he will match on race day, splitting the funds between a foundation that benefits medical research to support the deaf and a charity that works with older children in foster care.
He also asked thatthewoman he lovesmeet him at the finish line so he can give a true apology.
“It reminds me ofNever Been Kissed,” Rebecka says, grinning. “I love Drew Barrymore’s hair in that scene at the end of the movie when she stands on the middle of the baseball field.”
I know what she’s talking about, and the reason I know is because it’s one of my favorite movies. I used to watch it with my nanny when I was younger, and I know for a fact Lucas is aware of it because he watched it with me a few times when we were kids, always groaning at how romantic I thought the ending was.
I mix my granola and yogurt while everyone keeps chatting about the ad, just playing everything over in my mind.
It’s a request, this ad, a request that I meet him on the battlefield, in front of newspapers and the public and all the people who have opinions on our lives, and choose to stand with him to face it.
Without a mask.
Without hiding from the public.
From the people we know.
From my family.
Maybe it makesmethe shitty person for wondering if I’m ready for that, for the attention being with Lucas will garner in this town.
At least I know for sure I won’t be making a decision today. I’m exhausted from the emotional ups and downs, and from waiting for the newspapers so early this morning.
Eventually, I kick the girls out and get ready for work, promising Paige we’re still on for dinner at Papa Louis’ on Wednesday, a change-up for girls’ night.
When I get to work later that morning, I see the change immediately.
I place my purse and jacket down on one of the armchairs and then round my desk, taking in the beautiful chair wrapped with a bright blue bow.
