Page 121 of Be Your Anything
“Oh come on. You came up with that letter-writing thing for Hannah, and that was fantastic.”
“Yeah, but that was because I knew Hannah. I knew what would tug at her heartstrings, at least enough to convince her I was worth a second chance, you know?” He shrugs. “I don’t know Lennon that way.”
“But we grew up together. You can’t tell me you don’t know her atall.”
Wyatt sighs. “I know you think I’m blowing smoke at you, but I promise—whatever you decide to do, youhaveto come up with all of it on your own. I’m happy to help with whatever you come up with, but it’s gotta be on you.”
I lean back in my lounger, knowing he’s right. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting him to come in here and just hand me the toolkit to repair my broken relationship.
Part of me just needed another guy to tell me I’m not insane. That it’s normal to feel like this. And Wyatt’s really the only guy I know in a committed relationship who would be able to confirm that for me.
“What Icantell you, though…” he adds, and I glance over to see him staring up at the sky, “…is that whatever you come up with? However embarrassing or ridiculous or expensive or time-consuming it is?” He looks at me and grins. “If you really love her, it’s worth it.”
I know that with an alarming clarity.
Lennon is…god, she’s everything. She’s worthmorethan any bullshit kind of gesture I can give her. Because with her, it’s not about one big thing to try to convince her I can love her the way she deserves. It’s not about proving something to her now, in this instant.
This isn’t going to be something that happens one second and convinces her the next.
This is going to be that long slog I only kind of understood when I was a teenager, looking at her across the deck at Tinsley’s party.
You don’t win a queen with a kiss. With some kind of short-term affection that can disappear in an instant.
You win her in the backbreaking toil. In the hard work. In the constant, consistent actions.
I feel like every man who is in love with a woman should be the one to guard and protect her heart so she feels safe enough to break down her own walls and let you in.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do with Lennon—build my own wall, a demonstration of my love for her, in actions and deeds and bricks and layers of devotion and dedication that make me sweat until I can’t move anymore.
A wall that surrounds her with so much love she feels safe enough to trust me, to believe in me, to know how I feel is true and honest and good.
And then hopefully—hopefully—she’ll let me in.
CHAPTER26
LENNON
When Ellison shows up at my door on Tuesday morning, to say I’m suspicious is an understatement. And when she takes a seat in one of the armchairs, a saccharine smile on her face, I know something is definitely wrong.
“What can I help you with Ellison?” I say, trying to keep my tone polite and professional.
“You know, that’s a great question, Lennon,” she says, still grinning at me. She tilts her head to the side. “I was actually hoping you could help me with this project I’m working on.”
She reaches across the desk and sets her phone in front of me, the screen black but for a small gray play button.
I look at her. “What’s this?”
“Well,” she says, drawing out the word before giggling. “That’s what I’m hoping you can tell me.”
I click play, knowing whatever is going on here is going to throw me off my game and doing every mental exercise I can to keep my facial expressions as disinterested as possible.
But nothing can prepare me for what pops up on the screen.
It’s me. And Lucas. Having sex in my office. He’s lying on the floor, and I’m sitting astride him, bouncing up and down, my eyes clenched shut from pleasure.
“Ah, god, Lucas, it’s so good,” I hear myself say through the tiny speakers.
I tap the screen again, pausing the video and giving myself a moment to take a deep breath.
