Page 61 of Promise Me Nothing
Once we get back to the house, my mom heads straight inside, presumably to make herself a stiff drink and pop an anti-anxiety pill. I open the rear door and lift Ivy out, carrying her into the house and upstairs to her room.
I love this kiddo. She came around when I was a bit older, and if I’m honest, I hadn’t really wanted any new siblings at the time.
But she’s a precious girl and I can’t imagine this world without her in it.
“Wyatt,” she mumbles as I’m pulling off her shoes. Her eyes open and I’m struck by how young she looks as she curls up and snuggles into her bed.Am I really going to be okay?she asks, the fear in her eyes a bit more real today than it has been in the past.
I tuck her under the comforter and give her a soft kiss her on the forehead.
Of course you are, I sign, though I can’t help but whisper the words out loud as well, in hopes that some divine being can hear me.
She nods and closes her eyes, and I sit there, watching her fall back asleep.
I have to believe that she’s going to be okay.
But in order to believe that, I also have to know that I’ve done everything possible to ensure that’s the truth.
Once I’ve stepped out of her room, pulling the door shut softly behind me, I dig my phone out of my pocket.
Time to make the last call I thought I’d ever make.
Two days later, I park my bike behind Bennie’s and take a second to yank off my helmet.
Technically, you’re not allowed to drive motorcycles onto the pier grounds, including the area near the row of restaurants that sit at the base, between the pier and the city. But no one ever checks the back alley that runs behind all of the restaurants sitting along the south side of Pier Avenue.
And because my brother happens to betheBen, of Bennie’s at the Pier, no one is going to dare call in my bike to HBPD, just like they wouldn’t dare call in my mother’s Escalade.
I’m here for multiple reasons today, but also because sometimes, when you have shit going on in your family, you just need to drink a beer with the only person who can understand.
I find Ben at the table I normally sit at on the rooftop, sipping from a dark beer and staring out at the ocean.
“Glenlivet, Single Malt,” I say to the approaching waitress before she can even get to the table. I know it’s rude of me, but I honestly can’t muster up the ability to care.
Then I look at Ben, who is looking at me with that same neutral gaze. Always so careful, now. Because really, it’s been years since he’s been willing to show me who he really is.
“I don’t think I have to tell you how…” I grip my hands into fists and try to find the right word, “…absolutely wrong it was for you to not show up on Tuesday.”
Ben looks away, back out to the ocean, taking another sip of his beer.
“She’s twelvefuckingyears old, and you couldn’t get over yourself for just a few hours? To ride in the damn car with us and sit through a meeting with a doctor?”
“You have no idea…”
“No.Youhave no idea.” I jab a finger into his chest, but he doesn’t budge an inch. I shake my head, grab one of the coasters off the table and fold it in half. “Doctor Lyons said she needs a transplant.”
His head whips in my direction. “I thought the medication was doing okay.”
“Yeah, well it does what it’s supposed to do, along with a bunch of other shit that can make her really damn sick. A transplant is her only option if she wants a chance at a normal life.”
The waitress drops off my scotch, and it takes everything in me not to just tilt my head back and pour it all down the hatch in one go.
“You can’t let your ego get in the way anymore.”
“Myego,” he says, then laughs, though it sounds more bitter than anything. “Let me tell you something, Wyatt. The reason I don’t attend anything is because I’m not invited. I’m not allowed to be there. Not because I don’t want to be or because I’m too embarrassed to show my face.”
“So buck the fuck up and show upanyway,” I grit out. “You think a twelve-year-old cares that you aren’tallowedto come to the hospital? Or to the house? No. She wants you to show up for her. And that’s what she deserves. Because she’s your sister.”
We sit in silence for a moment, glaring at each other.
