Page 138 of Promise Me Nothing
He nods a few times, his face slightly confused. “Of course.”
“And I want to make this clear right now, so there won’t be any misunderstandings later…”
He freezes, then starts shaking his head.
“… I don’t care what you have to say to me. What excuses you could possibly come up with for why…” my voice cracks. I bat away the tears on my cheeks. “… why you had touseme like that, to get what you want. I willnevercare. So I’m only going to say this once. And you better listen.”
I pause, grit my teeth and let every ounce of pain pour out in my words, so he understands exactly how I feel. “I never,everwant to see you again.”
His hand reaches out and grips the island, like he has to hold himself up.
And then I pick up my plate and leave the room, never looking his way, or Lucas’, again.
Wyatt surprisingly respects my wishes. I don’t know if I like it or hate it or some distorted amalgamation of both.
If he leaves me alone, does that mean he didn’t ever really care for me as much as I did him?
I alternate between feeling this uncomfortable, painful lance straight through my chest, and missing him.
Missing what we were.
No.
Not missing what we were.
Missing what Ithoughtwe were.
Lucas, on the other hand, has become an annoying gnat I can’t seem to get rid of. A gnat with big puppy dog eyes that seems to follow me everywhere.
He gets drinks and sits in my section at Bennie’s. He’salwayshome, which is new. And he even started going on runs with me, even though I never invite him and he always poops out after the first two miles, stopping at a bench to take a break while I continue down The Strand.
I’ve always been the one to talk about things, as awkward as they may be. But there’s something about this that still feels too raw for me to really pull apart and dissect.
So the silent treatment has worked best for me, my only responses to things monosyllabic. Yes. No. Thanks. Hi. Bye.
Maybe it’s childish.
But that’s okay with me.
Part of me feels like I should just leave. Right now. Go back to Phoenix.
The cruelest part about all of this is that I literally have nowhere else to go.
I have no life anywhere.
I know Sienna would welcome me in an instant if I needed somewhere to stay for a few weeks while I get back on my feet. But I also know she and Jerome are finally moving in together and the last thing you need is a homeless best friend when you’re just shacking up together.
And I haven’t heard from Melanie in a while, though I’m not sure I would ever want to move out to New Mexico just so I have a couch to sleep on.
So I plug along, picking up every shift that I can, socking away as much money as possible.
The plan hasn’t changed, just the circumstances.
But what I don’t understand is what Lucas gets out of all of this. And finally, ten days after I found out that I’d been manipulated to come to California for a reason, I ask him.
Kind of.
“Why do you keep following me around?” I ask him as I eat my free meal from Bennie’s in a to-go container at the kitchen table.
