Page 134 of Promise Me Nothing
“So now, I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know where she is. Do I just wait? Sit around while she might be out there, hurting?”
“Do you really have any other choice?”
I sigh. “That’s not what I wanted you to say.”
“What did you want me to say, Wyatt? You came to me for a reason, and it isn’t because I’m someone who sprays bullshit and rainbows when things are horrible. You came to me because you know I’ll tell you the truth.”
When I look at him, he must see the pain on my face, because he flinches.
“So tell me the truth,” I say, dangling the mostly empty bottle between my fingers. “How do you see this turning out? Do you think she’ll forgive us or…”
“Honestly? I don’t know howyoucan come back from this. Lucas? Probably. He’s her brother. They’re blood. He’s literally the only family she has right now. But you?” He shakes his head, tilts his bottle back and takes another swig. “You’re one of the reasons she was stuck in foster care. Can you imagine what her life might have been like if she and Lucas had hit it off when she was younger?”
My stomach turns over and an iron fist squeezes my lungs.
“You’re not to blame for what happened to her parents or her brother,” Ben adds. “But I can see how she’ll have a hard time getting over the rest. Because shit.”
“So that’s it?” I ask, shaking my head in disbelief. “Those are your wise words?”
My brother pauses, seeming to go off into his own mind for a moment, a small and painful smile coming across his face.
“You want wise words? Here they are. You will never know what might happen if you don’t give everything you have to convincing her that you love her, and that you’re worth forgiving. And I meaneverything.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Hannah
My legs have never felt like this.
Like anchors.
Like chains.
My lungs are throbbing, my head aching as I continue to plow forward.
I don’t even know how long I’ve been running. But I’d have to guess I’ve been out here for at least a few hours.
And I know I’m probably doing actual harm to my body.
That my muscles are going to rebel against this absolute wreckage I’m putting them through.
I didn’t stretch.
I didn’t warm up.
I haven’t prepared.
And yet I’ve run longer than I’ve ever been able to in my life. My best guess would be that I’ve finally achieved my goal of running a half marathon. Though this isn’t how I ever envisioned it happening.
Because I’ve been running to find the bliss. The nothing. The absolute blankness that I can usually get to when I’m in pain or hurt or sad or just stressed.
But I can’t find it.
I’ve been pushing and searching and I just… can’t find it.
I slow myself down to a walk, my chest heaving, my muscles protesting as I shake them out.
Running the full length of The Strand that leads from Hermosa up to Playa del Rey, the road Wyatt took when we went on his motorcycle… I drop down to a squat and brace my head in my hands.
