Page 76 of Promise Me Nothing
But he’s giving me a smile that makes me think he knows where my mind is, so I just choose to focus forward as we climb back onto our bikes and try to catch up with Paige and Lucas.
“How much farther are we going?” I ask.
“We’re about halfway there. You tired?”
I scoff. “Not even. I’m a runner. Biking this is a breeze.”
He makes a noise of acknowledgement, and when I glance back at him I see his eyes on my ass. His eyes connect with mine and then he winks at me.
I turn back to face front, my cheeks flushing and not just from the bike ride.
“You guys are taking forever,” Paige calls back to us. She’s pulled off to the side, standing with her bike between her legs. “Hurry up! I wanna get shitfaced tonight.”
I start to laugh but when I look over at Wyatt, I see his brow furrowed. “Is something wrong?”
He shakes his head. “No, I just… Paige isn’t a big drinker. It’s just a weird thing for her to say.”
“Yeah, I’m not a big drinker either.”
“How come?”
I’m silent, trying to decide if I want to use my normal answer or my honest one.
“Did you have a bad experience? Get a little too drunk and do something you regret?” he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice.
I breathe out a half laugh. “I guess you could say that.” And there’s something inside of me that wants to knock this rich boy on his ass.
I can’t say why, exactly. Maybe it’s because his opinion shouldn’t matter. Or because so many guys think the way he does. But I can’t help it when I just blurt it out.
“I got drunk once when I was fifteen and my foster dad physically and sexually assaulted me. So yeah, I got a little too drunk, and I regret it. Because I wasn’t able to defend myself.”
When I look back, I see he’s not even pedaling. Just coasting next to me, his face having dropped the teasing and instead looks like he’s been socked in the chest.
“Hannah, I…” He pauses. “Hey, would you stop a second?”
I squeeze the brakes, slowing down and pulling off to the side. Wyatt does the same, sidling up next to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice and face completely sincere. So sincere I can’t look at him, instead opting to look off at the water. “I didn’t mean to imply anything by what I said. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. And I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” I say, though I’d be lying if I tried to tell him it didn’t bother me at all. “I just think you should be more mindful of what you say.”
He nods. “You’re right.”
I sit back on my bike seat, ready to take off down The Strand when Wyatt’s hand comes out to my wrist.
I quickly shake it off.
Embarrassment overwhelms me. He doesn’t say anything, but I’m sure he’s remembering the last time I yanked my hand away from him.
Part of me regrets even mentioning it. There’s a look people give you when they know you’ve been assaulted. Usually full of pity. And I hate it. But I also can’t stand the idea that he might think I don’t wanthimto touch me.
Because that’s definitely not the case.
“It’s not you,” I finally say, managing to look back at him. For some reason I want him to know that I’m not shaking ofhistouch. I’m just wary in general. “It’s where I’m at, so… sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” he says. “I was just going to say… I was going toask.Are we okay?”
I nod. “Yeah.” I let out a sigh and turn my head away. “We’re fine.”
