Page 153 of Promise Me Nothing
There’s nothing I’ll be able to say in a letter that I haven’t either already said to your face, or that I’m planning to say to you before you go.
You know how I feel.
How much I want you to stay.
But I’ll ask just one more time.
Don’t go?
Regardless of what happens, thank you for giving me the family I always wanted.
Hopefully I can be a poor substitute for the one that you miss.
Love you,
And miss you already.
Lucas.
I shake my head with a grin, then glance back outside, expecting to see his cocky smirk and mischievous eyes staring back at me.
But Lucas is nowhere to be found. My eyes scan the curb, try and look inside the station to see where he might have wandered off to.
Nothing.
My shoulders slump, and I look back to the papers in my hand, finally pulling Wyatt’s out.
It’s much longer than the rest, his handwriting bold and masculine.
Hannah,
I’m not good with my words. Never have been. English was always my worst subject in school. I could never seem to say what I felt, the words always feeling like a messy jumble that I couldn’t organize correctly.
So when Lucas told me that you’ve decided to leave, and that it’s happening in just a few hours, I really don’t know if there’s anything I put into words that would ever be convincing enough to get you to stay.
But I think that’s my problem right there.
I shouldn’t have to convince you.
How I feel about you should be so evident in the way I talk to you, how I treat you, that there isn’t ever a need to convince you that it’s real.
It should be something you know in your bones. Something you feel etched into your skin.
That’s where I think so many people get love wrong. They believe love is a game to be played and won, like the other person is a pawn they need to move around in their own ideal world.
I don’t see love as a game. But if I had to use the analogy, I simply need to communicate that you were never a pawn. You were a queen. The most important, the strongest, and the one with the most power. You are capable of anything.
I won’t pretend like what I did was right, and I truly am sorry for how it hurt you. My focus was so entirely on Ivy, on what I could do for her, consequences be damned, that I never stopped to consider that someone else’s life was in the balance, too.
Yours.
So all I can do now is beg.
Beg you to let me show you how much I love you.
Beg you to allow me a chance to prove to you with my words and my actions and my heart and my mind and every resource in my arsenal that you are that queen.
You are everything I’ve never known to hope for in this life.
