Page 100 of Like You Want It
“All I know is I want you. Again.”
I nod. “Me too. But I’ve never done casual before and I think that’s what you’re used to.” I shrug. “I just… I don’t know if I can do that.”
He pauses, lets his eyes focus on some distant spot behind me.
“I’ve asked you before what you wanted, and you couldn’t really tell me. I need to know before we do anything else. So we’re on the same page.”
He opens his mouth, but before he can say anything else, the baby monitor goes off and Nell’s soft cries travel across the patio.
“I’ve gotta grab Nell,” he says, hovering. It’s a statement, but he seems to be asking for permission.
So I nod. “Of course.”
And he slides open the door and walks into the house, Maxie trailing behind him, her tail wagging.
I take a seat on one of the patio chairs, resting my head in my hands.
I struggle with decisiveness. A lot. Trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with the one life I’ve been given. I just feel a little bit lost all the time. Unsure.
It seems that same feeling of uncertainty is pouring over into this relationship – or whatever it is – with Fin, as well.
I don’t know where this is leading. Or evenifthis will lead anywhere.
But I guess I’m finally deciding that I want to find out.
And that’s an important first step.
