Page 136 of Like You Want It
We sit in silence for a bit as I wait for him to decide what else to say.
“I also want to apologize to you. For how I treated you when you came to my house.”
I start shaking my head, but he stops me. Touches my chin and ensures my eyes are connected with his before he continues.
“The things I said to you were hurtful, and you have no reason to forgive me. I don’t deserve it. But I just want you to know that those words came from a place inside of me that I’m working on cleaning out.”
“Fin. I forgive you.”
He rubs his jaw. “Just like that?”
I nod, give him a smile. “Just like that.”
He shakes his head and smiles back at me. “Why do you always make everything so easy?”
I shrug. “I see no reason to drag things out. The only reason to do that would be for my own benefit. And that’s not the kind of life I want to live.”
His eyes search mine, then, and he shakes his head just slightly. Lifts a hand to my cheek and strokes the underside of my jaw.
“I’ve always known you were gorgeous, but I think you might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
My whole body flushes at the compliment.
“The reason I wanted to share everything with you is simply because I want you to know what I’m facing. What I’m trying to come back from.”
I nod.
“But in the same vein,” he continues, “I want you also to know that in thinking about all of this, I’ve realized I want to try again, to build a life with someone, have a future.”
He places his hands on either side of my face. “And I want that with you. I can’t say it will be perfect. The idea of trusting someone again is scary. But that’s theidea.Of trustingsomeone. When I remind myself that I’d be trustingyou, it’s not so scary anymore.”
He scoots forward on the couch, pressing his lips against my forehead, then looks me in the eyes. “And when something is worth it, when you really want something, you go after it even when the odds might be stacked against you. Even if you’re scared. And Carly, what I want is you. In my life, all the time. Your laugh and smile and relentless positivity. Your weird nicknames and wild hair.”
He shifts my hair to the side, strokes a tendril that’s loose around my crown, and if I could, I’d purr at the attention.
There’s a tiny voice inside of me that says I shouldn’t give in too easily. That I should make him work for it a little bit more.
Luckily, that bitch’s voice gets drowned out by the other voices that are screaming at me to jump into his arms. By the piece of my soul that recognizes him as my match.
“I want to touch you and hold you whenever I want, and…”
“Finnegan,” I interrupt. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
He smiles and lets out a deep chuckle that hits me low in the stomach.
And then he does.
He kisses me deep and thorough, but there’s an emotion too it that was lacking before. A depth, a desire, a plea.
This is a kiss from a man who wants me to know how he feels about me.
He’s holding nothing back.
And it hits me dead in the chest.
Hits me right in the place I’ve always wanted.
“I love you, Sunshine,” he says, pulling back to look at me.
I smile, then close my eyes as he presses light kisses around my cheeks and neck. Holds me close to him, and brings me in to his chest for an embrace.
The warmth of his body radiates into mine, easing something inside of me.
Because for the first time, I feel like I’ve finally figured out what I want.
For us to fall for each other, together.
And what a beautiful fall it is when you know someone will be there to catch you.
