Page 109 of Like You Want It
I plop back down into my seat, feeling oddly dejected. How did I not see those things before?
“Don’t feel too bad. The real family feminist over here used to loveOverboard,” he says, sticking a thumb out at Susie, who purses her lips and squints at him.
“You don’t need to share every negative thing about me, you know,” she replies, turning back to put more food into Nell’s mouth.
Fin smiles at her, something genuine and sweet that I’ve only seen from him a handful of times. “I know I don’t. But sometimes, life is just more fun that way.”
She rolls her eyes. “For you, maybe.”
There’s a pause as we all dig back into our dinners. But Fin and I can’t seem to keep our eyes off each other. I keep envisioning him as he was in the shower. And what’s crazy is that the part I keep thinking about the most? That kiss at the end. The pulsing, lusty kiss that even now makes me want to squirm in my seat.
“You know, if you guys want to hook up, you don’t have to worry about me.”
I drop my fork again, my mouth and eyes both opening wide, and Fin chokes on the water he was drinking. He pounds on his chest a few times to sort himself out, but we both have our eyes on Susie.
“I don’t… what?” he finally asks.
Usually I’m the person to out the awkward topic. Let’s just get it over with and talk it out and then we’ll all be much happier and healthier.
Susie’s the avoider. Right? She told me that. She said their entire family was full of avoiders. Isn’t that what she said?
“I mean, I know you guys had sex.”
My face flames red.
“And if I’m reading your weird interactions tonight correctly, since neither of you seem like you want to kill the other one anymore, my guess is that you want to do it again, but neither of you want to bother me.” Then she points in my direction. “You because we’re new friends and you don’t want to hurt my feelings.” A finger gets pointed at Fin. “And you because you’re so gung-ho on making sure the Ashley situation doesn’t get repeated. But I’m here to tell you both that you can chill the eff out, and just go bone already.”
Were both silent after that. Awkwardly silent. Painfully silent. It’s a really loud, awkward, painful silence.
“You know, normally it’smyjob to shove the uncomfortable thing into everyone’s faces so we get it off our chests,” I say, then follow that statement up with a gulp of wine.
“It’s the worst, right?” Susie says, a cheesy grin on her face that tells me she is far too pleased with herself.
I narrow my eyes at her playfully, then glance at Fin to find his eyes on his food, his hands clasped together and elbows on the table.
“I feel like I should say something, but any words that come out of my mouth will be worded wrong, or sound incredibly presumptuous. So I’m just going to acknowledge what you’ve said, and leave it at that,” I say.
And then I go back to eating my chicken.
Full minutes go by and Fin never says anything else, so I assume the conversation is over. An idea that’s confirmed when Susie gets up to clean off Nell and Fin grabs all of our plates and takes them to the kitchen.
“Will you get the movie set up?” she asks me as she heads off to the bathroom, a pesto covered Nell in her arms.
I smile and nod, then stand in front of the entertainment center, fiddling with the TV and getting the Blu-ray copy ofGhostbustersready to go.
I startle when I feel Fin standing behind me, his body heat emanating from him, through our clothes and caressing my skin. He doesn’t touch me, just stands an inch behind me, his slow breaths hitting my neck.
“I’m coming over tonight,” he says, his voice low.
My whole body clenches at that delicious promise, and all I can manage to do in response is nod. A simple bob of the head to acknowledge that I’ve heard him.
And then he’s gone, and I can hear him clanking around in the kitchen getting things cleaned up.
I let out a shaky breath, staring blankly at the entertainment center and wondering how I’m going to convince my mind to read what these buttons say.
Because my brain is feeling a little frizzed out.
I glance over my shoulder and watch Fin do dishes for a second, until he looks over at me, his gaze molten.
