Page 90 of The Keeper
“McIntosh, I thought you said you’d discussed this?” Coach J says, looking over at Mack, who I realize is no longer looking at his own clipboard and is instead looking at us.
“Give us a sec?” Mack waves me over to him, and then leads me a few feet away. “I thought we’d talked about this, RJ. I wanted to give you a chance to coach so you could get some experience under your belt.”
My voice comes out whiny and panicked. So mature.
“We talked about it but I didn’t know when it was gonna start! I don’t feel ready at all!”
“Take a deep breath and look at me,” he says.
When I look into Mack’s eyes, I see a confidence I don’t feel. I see a trust that I don’t think I deserve. And I see someone who believes in me implicitly, even if I’m struggling to always believe in myself.
“Have you been watching tape when you’re supposed to and do you feel prepared to play Long Beach on Friday?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve been listening to Coach J and myself sharing our strategy for the game, reviewing Long Beach’s strengths and weaknesses?”
“Yes.”
“What did I say two weeks ago that I wanted the offensive players to work really hard on, because there are several teams coming up who have issues with the same thing?”
“You said you wanted them to work on set pieces because Santa Barbara, Long Beach and a few of the teams at the upcoming tournaments are weak at defending their goal from corner kicks and penalty kicks. Piper said the girls were having some issues, though, and that the practices aren’t going so well.”
Mack chuckles slightly.
“You’re ready to go, RJ. Just don’t forget what you said to me right now, and you’ll do fine.”
He gives me a slight push on the shoulder, sending me back over to Coach J. I’ll be honest, I don’t feel a whole lot more confident now than I did when Mack pulled me aside. But at least I have a tiny idea of what I can do to coach the offense today.
Set pieces.
Things start off slow and definitely awkward. The team has already had a change in coaching structure and style with Mack coming in mid-season, so there’s some obvious resistance to my leadership at first, especially from Gina. Which doesn’t surprise me. I feel like my instructions are stilted, even when I’m directing them in a simple warm up drill to practice handling balls that have been kicked high.
Piper, Erin, Kristal and some of the girls I’ve played with for several years are quick to be supportive, though, and by the time I tap Piper to do corner kicks instead of Gina, who huffs as she stands observing with her water bottle, I feel a lot more confident in what I’m doing. It helps when I realize I’ve provided a piece of feedback to one of the girls and Coach J says, “Good eyes on that, Rachel.”
Maybe I’m not completely useless at this.
When Mack takes over from me about ninety minutes into our two hour practice, I feel an energy coursing through me that I don’t normally get when I play. Just the short period of time I spent ‘coaching’ made it feel like I was looking at the field and the players in a completely new way. Like they were chess pieces and if I had the right strategy they’d be fine.
“Great job, RJ!” Piper says as we change after practice.
“God, I was so fucking nervous,” I reply, taking a seat on the floor and leaning back against the lockers. “Was it really okay? Be honest.”
“It was a bullshit practice,” Gina spits from my left, “and Piper only liked it because you threw your minion a bone by letting her practice set pieces with the starters.”
“Why are you such a bitch all the time, Gina? It’s important for everyone to practice in case someone gets injured. That’s literally thereasonteams have more than just starters,” Kristal snarks back.
“Fuck off, Kristal. Saying that your roll on this team matters over and over again doesn’t mean you’re gonna get to play any time soon. Your goalkeeping is as nasty as your face.”
“Uncalled for, Gina,” I say standing up. “Your toxic attitude is a waste of space on this team. You should focus more on teamwork and caring about the other women you play with. It might help withyourresting bitch face.”
The rest of the girls make ‘ooooooooh’ noises, but I quickly snip at them to focus on changing and getting home, and leave the locker room still in my workout gear.
I need to talk to Coach J about Gina. Having a hateful, bitter player on the team that says nasty things to teammates, completely unprovoked, does nothing for team morale.
A change needs to be made, and after watching their practice today, I have just the suggestion to make that can hopefully move us in a more positive direction.
* * * * *
