Page 80 of The Keeper
But Iamsurprised when Charlie returns and takes a seat next to me, pressing play and continuing on as if nothing happened.
I look at her for a full minute before she finally looks back at me.
“What?” she asks.
“Who was at the door?”
She rolls her eyes.
“You know who it was. Don’t play games.”
My brow furrows in frustration.
“What are you talking about?”
Charlie re-pauses the movie and turns to face me, her legs crossing in front of her on the couch.
“You weren’t going to answer it because you want him to sit out there and suffer because you think he did something wrong.”
“You don’t even know what happened! You don’t know if hediddo something wrong!”
“Exactly!”
She doesn’t shout the word at me, but it comes out like a whip, cracking into the space between us.
“If something horrible had happened, you would have told me. But you walked in here and plopped down next to me to watch this stupid sports documentary, and youhatedocumentaries by the way, like nothing was wrong. So I think whatever is going on now isyourfault, not his.”
I feel the blood rush to my face in anger, but I can’t seem to form a sentence in response. Is she right? Am I the one that messed up?
Charlie must see something shift in my face because her expression softens. She adjusts herself so she is sitting right next to me, her arm wrapped around my shoulders.
“No one is perfect, Rach. Being in a relationship is hard work. Sometimes you’re the one to forgive, and sometimes you’re the one being forgiven. But no matter what, both people have to want the same outcome for it to really work.”
She leans away from me so she can see straight into my eyes.
“That man has done nothing but fight for you. I won’t pretend to know all the details. I won’t try to make you believe that he hasn’t done anything wrong, because I don’t honestly know. But from the moment I saw you two together it was clear what he wanted. It’s important that you figure out what you want, too.”
We sit there for a minute staring at each other without speaking when I finally figure out what to say.
“And if I don’t know what I want?”
She gives me a soft smile.
“That’s the beauty of being an adult, RJ. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions based on just the information you have. Take that organized brain of yours and scan through the information you have about Mack, about you, about the life you lead, and the future you want. And then decide. Is he what you want?”
I sink into the couch and think on her words for a few minutes as she goes back to her movie.
I run through the list of cons. The things standing in our way. My concerns. But when I get to the end of that list, all I can think about is the way that I felt in Mack’s arms just an hour ago as he calmed me and talked me through my anxiety attack. That feeling of safety, like nothing I’ve ever known before.
But even though I have all those warm feelings towards him, and I knew earlier that I was beginning to fall for him, is it fair for me to try and be in a relationship? After I’ve been so hot and cold with Mack from day one?
“And you may want to pop out and let him know once you figure it out because I may have told him to chill outside and wait for you,” Charlie suddenly blurts out.
My face snaps to her calculating and very pleased smile. After a very small internal cuss-fest, I slowly stand from the couch and make my way to the door, taking a deep breath and releasing it before reaching for the handle and stepping out to the front patio.
Mack sits on the stoop with his elbows on his knees, his chin resting in his steepled fingers.
I clear my throat once. Twice.
