Page 69 of The Keeper
But tonight, I feel like none of those things. I feel lacking in any kind of plan or direction. I keep hurting the people around me.
And I can’t stand it.
* * * * *
The slamming of the door jolts me where I’ve fallen asleep on the couch, and my eyes fly open. I stretch a little bit until I hear a mumbling whisper in the entryway.
“…such bullshit. Like I don’t know what’s happening. Of all the…”
Charlie’s mumbled ranting stops with a halt when she sees me sitting on the couch. She raises an eyebrow and glances at her phone.
“It’s 8:30. Was the date that bad?”
My face crumples and I look back down at my hands, willing myself to maintain control of my emotions.
“I didn’t go.”
Only a few seconds pass before Charlie is plopped down on the couch next to me, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a tight embrace.
“Did you call him and cancel?”
I shook my head.
“I told him there was someone else when he showed up at the door.”
Even though I can’t see her face, I can feel Charlie’s wince.
“Ouch.”
“I know. Not one of my finer moments. I haven’t been having a lot of fine moments recently.”
Charlie pulls back to look at me and I’m happy to see that her previous bitter death glare is replaced by her normal expression full of care and warmth.
“But you did the right thing, even if it hurt you both.” She rubs her hands up and down on my upper-arms, attempting to soothe me. “It wouldn’t have been fair of you to go on a date with Thomas when you’re clearly in love with Mack.”
I scoff.
“I amnotin love with him, Charlie. I’ve known him for two weeks. I just…” I sigh. “He’s just important, that’s all.”
“So important that you had to stomp on his heart?”
I let out a breath.
“He’ll be fine. I’m sure he’s already bowing down to the Ronnie Kade altar.”
Charlie giggles.
“You know that’s not true.”
“Do I?” I sit back and curl my legs under a pillow. “I told you what Jeremy said. About how he used to, and I quote ‘bang everything in sight.’ It would be only natural for him to go back to that. I mean, he’s gorgeous.”
“Fuck Jeremy.”
My eyebrows feel like they’re about to fly off my face in surprise. I’ve never heard Charlie say something like that about my brother.
“Jeremy is using guilt about his own actions to manipulate the situation in a misguided attempt to protect you. And from Mack, who is basically someone whousedto do what Jeremy iscurrentlydoing.”
Her face is the picture of frustration, and I feel like I’m getting some insight into some of her irritations with Jeremy in the past.
