Page 62 of The Keeper
And I don’t want Jeremy to shit all over my beautiful.
We sit, we order, we snack on chips and make small talk about Jeremy’s game that Charlie and I attended. I’m just taking a huge, very unfeminine bite of my burrito when my phone dings. It’s sitting on the table, face-down. My eyes look at it, then up to Jeremy. His eyes narrow just a bit. There’s a pause, a lull, before we both scramble forward to grab the phone.
And Jeremy snatches it up right before my hand can get to it.
He takes one glance at the screen and mumbles an angry, “Shit” before slamming the phone down on the table in front of me, face-up. I don’t look down at it. Jeremy’s gaze is locked on mine, and he. Is. Pissed.
“Look at it, Rachel.”
My eyes drop reluctantly down, and I see the words displayed on the lock screen.
Mack: Wish you were here.
When I look back up at Jeremy, he is rubbing his hand across his stubbled jaw.
“You said nothing was going on. Go ahead and tell me this means nothing, because that is so fucking far from what it looks like, I don’t know how you could even try to pretend.”
I say nothing, my eyes staring at the now black screen on my phone.Wish you were here.I can’t help the small smile that sits on my face. And I know Jeremy sees it.
He leans forward in his seat, hands clasped in front of him on the table.
“How much more clear can I be, Rachel? He’s your coach. He’s crazy. And he’s in it for one thing. I can’t believe you’re being so stupid right now.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to tell me you’re not making a horrible,horriblemistake.” He shakes his head, looking at me with frustration and disappointment.
Disappointment.
Something I never thought I would see on his face when he’s looking at me.
“I don’t feel like I’m making a mistake.” My voice is just more than a whisper. It’s been a long time since someone has made me feel this small with just one sentence and a stare. Even my dad hasn’t done this in years.
He shakes his head again.
“You’re wrong. You can’t see it, because you’re only thinking about the emotions you’re feeling. But let me tell you what emotions you’re going to be feeling when you and Mack are found out. Embarrassment for having an affair with your coach. Shame for being kicked off the team. Guilt for Mack losing his job. And crippling fear for your future, because you won’t have one.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” I ask, trying to find a way to shift the tone of what is clearly becoming a chance for Jeremy to rip into me.
Inside, I’m kicking myself for even asking that question when just over a week ago, Charlie and I were having the same conversation. Only then, I had been the one pointing out all of the consequences of something happening between us.
“No. Not at all.” His response is quick and bold. There’s no room for argument. “You are making a mistake. And youwillregret it.”
It sounds like a threat. And that straightens my spine just a bit.
“I don’t want to have this conversation,” I say, scooting out of the booth. “Not with you. Not ever.” I pull a twenty dollar bill from the wallet clip on the back of my cell phone, throwing it on the table.
“You have no idea what Mack and I have. We may crash and burn, but he means something to me. I’m not going to just give up and not try because I’m scared of what might happen to me or who might be disappointed in my decisions. You know who has to live with the choices I make? Me. I do. Not you. So I am only going to say this one time, Jeremy.”
I lean forward and stare him right in the eyes.
“This is none of your business, and I don’t want to hear a word about it from you again. Stay the fuck out of it.”
I stand back up and walk away. Out the front door without letting him respond. My anger burns off quickly as I hit the pavement and walk down the street in the direction of my apartment.
I hate to say it, but the walk home isn’t as satisfying as I wish it could have been.
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