Page 61 of The Keeper
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The rest of my Sunday passes far too quickly, mostly due to the fact that Mack ended up coming over. We watched episodes ofThe Walking Deadthat we’ve both already seen before and snacked on popcorn. But mostly we laid head-to-toe with each other and just talked about things.
Like Cherise and her boys and what little menaces they are. About Charlie and how close she and I are. Essentially, we talk about almost everything.
Well… everything except for two topics.
Mack’s accident and the things right before and right after it.
And my dad’s alcoholism and the abuse Mack observed, as well as anything associated to that.
Those two items stay firmly on thedo not discussshelf.
When it finally hits around 11pm, we call it a night. Mack gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek and on the lips before heading home.
And then I run frantically around my apartment trying to catch up on everything I didn’t do.
On Monday, after another afternoon training filled with sneaking glances at each other, I’m sitting in front of the practice field waiting for Jeremy to pick me up when I get a text from Mack. My heart leaps when I see his name on my screen.
Mack: So date night with Jer?
Me: Yeah. Weekly thing, you know?
Mack: Family first. I get it. But don’t forget that I want to take you on another date soon.
My cheeks flush and a smile breaks out on my face as I remember our conversation from the night before. He told me he’d have to figure out the logistics, but that it was important to him to take me out and show me he was also ‘invested.’ Swoon. But before I can craft a response, a new message pops up.
Mack: Love that smile.
I snap my head up and glance around. After a few seconds, I see him walking across the parking lot. He’s freshly showered and wearing low slung track pants with a charcoal gray Glendale hoodie. Even from this sideways vantage point, I can see the smile on his face, a reserved grin that makes my heart race. And it only picks up when he turns his head slightly and we lock eyes.
A quick honk drags my eyes to Jeremy in the SUV idling at the curb. I lean down to grab my bag and trot quickly to Jeremy’s car.
“Hey Jer!” I sing out, tossing my duffle into the back and clicking into the seat belt.
“Hey,” he says, hesitantly.
When I glance up at him, I see him watching me with a curious expression, his brow furrowed. Then I watch as his eyes dart forward, out the windshield. To Mack. When he looks back at me, I see something between curiosity and disbelief.
When he caught us outside my apartment last week, I was pretty sure he understood that there was something between me and Mack that was deeper than an appropriate coach/athlete relationship. But maybe he assumed his forceful approach to that conversation would squash things.
He assumed wrong.
“We heading to The Shop or what?” I ask, my voice still light, refusing to give into whatever stupid conversation he wants to have.
He just nods, putting the car into drive.
The ride to my favorite burrito place, which is a convenient ten minute walk from my apartment, is pretty silent. Almost awkwardly silent. I pass the time by flicking through emails on my phone.
I don’t like this feeling. Jeremy and I have almost no secrets. We don’t get into real arguments. We don’t even really get frustrated with each other very often. It’s like we’ve always had this ‘us against Frank Jameson’ mentality that keeps us on the same page, always at each others’ back, no matter what. Our fight last week was incredibly uncharacteristic. For both of us.
But I can feel it brewing. An argument I don’t want to have. He’s going to say something about Mack, and I don’t want to talk to him about Mack.
Mack is my secret. I don’t necessarily want him to be a secret, like some clandestine affair. But there’s something about keeping our relationship close to my chest that makes me feel like I’m cradling something sacred and special.
Something mine.
So many things that have been important to me have been taken away. I don’t want this to follow suit. This pseudo-relationship-thing Mack and I have is the most beautiful thing to happen to me in… well, in a long ass time, if I am being entirely honest.
