Page 58 of The Keeper
“So, in their case, it was a good thing. Because it would have significantly compromised their friendship and possibly damaged the impact their relationship had on the works they both put forward.” He clears his throat again. “But I think other friendships can translate into something more when those factors aren’t at play.”
My eyes widen slightly and I feel my face flush with heat.NowI understand what’s happening.
“Thomas…” I start, but my phone beeps. Probably Mack. And then it beeps again.
And again.
And again.
When my phone beeps for the fifth time in a row, Thomas breaks the silence.
“You gonna check it?”
I grab my phone from my ugly maroon Jansport backpack that has clearly seen better days. Flipping it over, I unlock the screen and scroll quickly through.
Mack: Still studying?
Mack: Because I think we should go grab In-N-Out again
Mack: Or tacos sound amazing
Mack: I’m just really hungry
Mack: And I want to see you, which is the real reason I’m bugging you. Text me when you’re done ;)
A smile stretches out on my face. My fingers hover over the screen as I consider responding. Should I scrap my plans to do laundry and be an adult and hang out with Mack instead?
“Something interesting?”
Thomas’ voice snaps me back to the table.
In the library.
Where I’m supposed to be studying.
“Sorry.” I wipe the smile from my face, put my phone on silent and back into the front pocket of my bag. “It’s nothing.” Looking back at Thomas, I try to give him my full attention.
“What I was going to say, earlier… I just… RJ, do you want to go out sometime?”
His voice is so clear and earnest. Not like he’s begging me to go on a date, but it’s clear he really wants us to do something.
“On a date, I mean. I’ve liked you for a while and just… it took a while for me to… well…” His voice breaks off when he clears his throat again. A nervous tick. “What do you think?”
If this was something Thomas had asked me two weeks ago, I probably would have said yes. But I know saying yes today isn’t in the cards. Not with whatever this new thing is with Mack. I can’t even study without thinking about him.
“Thomas, I just…” I pause trying to find the right words.
“If you’re about to say no, don’t say it yet,” he says, cutting me off before I tell him I’m figuring things out with someone else. “Just take a while and think about it. I know we argue a lot in class and I’ve probably really surprised you. But, I think you’re great. Amazing, actually. And beautiful. And I don’t want you to give me a knee-jerk reaction and say no, which is what I think you’re about to do. Just… think about it. Take some time, and come back to me later.”
I give him a slow nod, not responding. I should just tell him I’m seeing someone. But honestly I shouldn’t share that with anyone, so I’ll do him the service of ‘thinking about it’ before letting him down.
An awkward silence ensues as we turn back to our books and notes. I only allow a few minutes to go by before I let Thomas know that I need to get home to work on some other projects and get my life in working order before the new week begins. He looks surprised, but waves me off with a pleasant smile.
When I climb into my car, I quickly turn it on and give the A/C a chance to cool the warm musty interior. Leaning my head against the seat, I close my eyes.
Did Thomas really ask me on a date? It’s been at least six months since I’ve been asked by anyone. A year since I’ve said yes.
Even though it sent a small zing of pleasure through me to know someone was interested, that zing doesn’t hold a candle to the steady hum of awareness I feel when thinking about Mack. In such a short period of time, I’ve come to find his presence intoxicating, cathartic, enraging, arousing… everything.
