Page 107 of The Keeper
“You have nothing to be sorry about. Ilovedthat. Every second. But I shouldn’t have done anything other than kiss you and hold you and let you fall asleep in my arms. Because holding you close to me is the only thing these arms have wanted since the moment I met you.”
I give him a small smile and snuggle back into his arms, kissing his bare chest.
“We have the future in front of us, RJ. Just remember that. We don’t need to rush anything today.”
A few moments of silence pass before I muster up the courage to talk to him about sex. About the future and sex and us.
“I know we just did…that…” I say, my face flushing red, “… but I just want to be clear with you about me.”
He nods, his eyes focused on my face.
“I chose to wait to have sex with someone when I knew it would mean something. I appreciated, so much, that you stopped things tonight, because you’re totally right. My body fucking hurts right now,” I say, and we both laugh.
“But I don’t want you to spend tons of time racking your brain trying to make my first time some perfect candles and roses thing from a movie. I already know it’s going to hurt and be kind of awkward. And if we spend too much time thinking about how to make itperfect,I think we might both be let down.”
“Let me just stop you right there,” he says with a smirk. “I can absolutely promise you that when I’m inside you, I am not going to be let down.”
I laugh and slap my hand on his chest.
“You know what I mean!” I say with an exasperated smile.
He nods and kisses my lips.
“I know exactly what you mean,” he whispers. “It will be special, and I will take care of you. But no flowers, candles or rotating beds.”
“Oh my god,” I giggle, unable to contain myself. “Indy. You’re so ridiculous.”
His eyes light up at the use of his nickname, and he tightens his hold around my body, pulling me up so my face rests right next to his.
“Cherise was right about you,” I say to him, still giggling slightly as I rest nose to nose with him.
“What was she right about?” he asks.
“She said you’re a keeper,” I reply.
“No, I’m a sweeper.You’rea keeper.”
“Fine,” I say, laughing again. “I’m a keeper. And you’re a sweeper. You certainly swept me off my feet.”
“Oh my god, it’s too much cheesiness,” he says, shoving his face into his pillow.
It’s another fifteen minutes of ridiculous puns and silly expressions of love before we finally turn off the glow of the television and crawl under the covers together.
And when I rest my head on his chest and hear the steady beat of his heart - when I feel his strong arms wrapped tightly around me - I realize that Mack has taught me an invaluable lesson:
Any love worth keeping is worth waiting for.
Epilogue
“You can’t be serious,” I say, rolling my eyes. “You didn’t evengoto Indiana. Why are you rooting for their basketball team?”
“Have I not been clear before? I’m from the Hoosier state. I’m a Hoosier forever. Indiana basketball is the only basketball that exists,” Mack replies from his place next to me on my couch.
We’re completing our March Madness brackets. I have North Carolina taking it all, and Mack has his beloved Hoosiers even though they haven’t won since 1987.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever understand him. But I’m sure having a blast figuring it out.
After the crash last November, a lot of shit in our lives changed. Some for the good, some for the bad. But we’ve taken it all in stride.
