Page 76 of Indulgence
“Wow,” she said when we finally got to the end. I bet that wasn’t what she was expecting to hear this evening. “First, Natalie.” She directed her attention to me. “What you went through was a terrible and frightening ordeal, you were incredibly brave, and you still are each day you wake up and work toward the future.”
“I was petrified when I realized what was happening. I saw him outside the hotel smoking right before and seeing him was unsettling. It didn’t feel like a coincidence that he was staying in the same hotel as I was for the gallery opening. This was the second time I’d seen him outside the club, and it just felt fishy. I never expected him to attack me, though. As I was fighting him off me, snippets of memories with Matteo and the kids flickered in my mind, reminding me I had things to do with my life and this man wasn’t going to take those things from me.”
Matteo squeezed my hand. His strength and support encompassed me like a caress. He leaned in and kissed my temple. “I’m very proud of you. You’re incredibly strong and resilient.”
Dr. Morgan motioned between us, using her pen as a pointer. “That you still can experience true positive affection between the two of you is an encouraging sign.”
Matteo nodded. “That man may have tried to take from Natalie, but instead he gave us something. What he did reminded us of what we were fighting for.” He smiled at me. It was almost as bright as it was three months ago.
“It’s just sad that it took something so horrible to show me the truth,” I added.
The doctor shook her head. “Do not sell yourselves short, Natalie. You had started to reach out to Matteo before the attack. That call to him because you were feeling uneasy probably saved your life.”
We switched gears after that. “Natalie, how has being back in your home been?”
When I had walked into my house after we returned from Portland, I’d been prepared to be bombarded with snapshots of that night with Brooke, but they didn’t come. Rather than remembering that, I found myself fixating on all the memories with my family.
“I almost feel as if I was worried for nothing,” I admitted. ‘The bedroom came out gorgeous. It feels like an entirely different room. As I sat in the living room the first day back, I wasn’t thinking about the mistakes we made that night but rather last Christmas morning and the joy on the kids’ faces when they opened their new phones.”
After everything that happened with Brooke, I’d been practically blinded by my fixation with the negative. I couldn’t direct my attention at anything other than all the things we had done wrong.
I couldn’t see that we did so much right.
We had something special.
That there wasn’t anything Matteo and I couldn’t overcome when we played on the same team.
We tried something new, and it didn’t work for us.
We lived, we learned, and more importantly, we loved.
Even when we didn’t think we could, we loved harder than we knew possible.
Because no one could ever love me the way that Matteo did. I didn’t want anyone else to.
No one would ever love Matteo the way I did. I couldn’t ever make up for letting him down when he needed me most, but I’d never stop trying.
No one could ever replace me in his life.
We were made for each other.
Epilogue
Matteo
If it were up tome, we wouldn’t have to come back here ever, but I was following Natalie’s lead. We had been here twice since the Gerard fiasco. Once for drinks and once where we wandered around as voyeurs.
There was no telling what we were here for tonight.
Natalie had been through a lot all those months ago in Portland. After four months of therapy, she was doing so much better,wewere doing much better, healing.
If she said she never wanted to come here again, that would be all right with me.
Sure, a part of me missed the way Natalie melted under my touch the times we had been here before. When we were here, Natalie entered a head space that was difficult to get into at home. Not that I was complaining. I just missed the way Nat used to lose herself in her desires. Only because it was due to shame. She felt shameful that her need to try new things brought so much pain and strife into our lives.
We grabbed drinks at the bar and took a seat in the lounge area. Max de la Cruz made his way over to say hi. The three owners made sure to check in with us every time we scanned in. It must have been some kind of alert in the system. They were extremely distraught about the chain of events that happened and kept trying to make it up to us. We understood that they couldn’t have known that Gerard was going to snap. He had a clean record, and they had no reason to deny him membership to the club prior.
He was currently serving seven years in prison for what happen back in Portland.
