Page 63 of Indulgence
I knew I needed to follow through with my idea and start to piece our life back into place. One of us needed to take charge, and Natalie certainly wasn’t in any condition to do so.
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. “We’ll get through this, Pen. I’ve got somewhat of a plan, I think. Just keep an eye on her for right now, all right? Now that there is no baby for her to focus on, I think she is coming to terms with everything she said in her message.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Natalie
It was amazing how fastand deep we fell from grace.
One day, everything was chugging along just fine, and the next, I found myself leaving long rambling, semi-drunk messages on Matteo’s voice mail because it was easier to say what I needed to a machine than the man himself.
It wasn’t easy for me to accept my responsibility in this situation. I knew it was my fault. I knew I needed to accept that in order for us to move on.
Matteo:I got your voice mail. Can we meet later to talk about what you said last night?
The Metro Portland opened next week, and I was finding myself constantly pulled between the two locations. Tonight, I’d head down to get things finalized because Bastien’s showing opened Tuesday evening.
Natalie:I’m leaving for Portland tonight for an early morning walk through. I need to leave for the airport at 8.
Matteo:How about 6?
* * *
I’d been puttingoff packing for my trip to the last minute because I didn’t want to go back to the house for my suitcases or clothes. Penelope was great at sharing her to-die-for closet with me, but I needed to suck it up and get my own stuff.
Also, I needed to face my bedroom, and I hoped that would be easier to do alone.
The entire drive home, I gave myself a pep talk about how it was just a room and I was strong enough to block it out. This was our home, so I had to find a way to get over it. My lunch rumbled in my stomach anyway. A huge rock of discomfort sat in my chest.
When I pulled into my driveway, Adam’s truck was parked in it and there was a pick-up truck with construction supplies in the bed parked along the curb.
Curious and a bit worried, I trotted up the path to the front door and let myself in.
Adam was on the couch in the living room, flipping through a sports magazine. He looked up at me and smiled softly. “Hey, babe.” He rolled the magazine in his hand and stood to give me a hug. “How are you?”
He obviously knew about what was going on between Matteo and me. He had a hundred questions swimming in his eyes, but I had a more important one. “I’m all right. What are you doing here though? Did something break?”
He looked torn. His eyes darted toward the hall as he bit his lip in contemplation.
“If he didn’t tell you, then I think maybe it’s supposed to be a surprise.”
There was a good chance I’d never enjoy a surprise again. Recently, I’d developed a strong appreciation for things being planned and organized. Nothing could come and mess things up that way.
I didn’t see anyone working from where we were in the living room, but I heard the sound of work being done somewhere inside. “Adam, I’m going to find out either way. I’m here.”
He gripped the back of his neck. “Listen, I don’t know much about the whole plan. He just asked me to fill in for him here to let the crew in. I don’t think he was expecting you to stop by.”
What difference did that make? “Probably not. But what does that have to do with anything?”
Adam looked torn. “I don’t want to ruin any plans he may have with this. Why are you here anyway? Are you sneaking in whenever Matteo isn’t here to avoid seeing him? That’s so messed up, Natalie.”
I shook my head and dropped my bag to the floor. “No, not avoiding him specifically. I’m avoiding all the memories that come rushing back to me when I step through the door. I’m heading to Portland tonight, so I need my suitcases and more clothes. I can’t put it off any longer.”
The sounds of ripping masking tape filled the air. The smell of latex tickled my nose the closer I got to my bedroom. When I stepped into the threshold, the first thing I saw was that all the furniture was piled in the middle and covered with a tarp. There were two guys in the room, painting the walls a dusty rose. The taupe carpet had been replaced with dark walnut hardwood. A ceiling fan replaced the old light fixture over where our bed used to sit. The operative phrase there wasused tosince there was no longer a bed in the room.
“He pulled some strings with his uncle and got a crew to come in to redo it.” He looked down at me. “They’ve been at it since around eight this morning.”
Tears welled in my eyes. We were both mad, but even at our lowest point, he still thought of me. He still tried to make things better for me.
