Page 33 of Indulgence
In all the books of Natalie’s that I read, the men had sinewy muscles. They had bulging biceps and impeccable pecs.
I had been rocking a dad bod. I wasn’t over-weight or even really out of shape, I was just soft and dull where I could’ve been hard and cut.
“Nothing has changed.” I stood and grabbed my towel, wiping the sweat from my forehead. “We’re getting older. It can’t hurt to make sure I stay in shape.”
Adam’s skepticism painted across his face as brightly as the graffiti mural on the corner building of Hillshire and West Ave.
“One”—he held up a finger—“we’re only thirty-five. Two”—he added a second finger—“most people take up running or biking for some baseline calisthenics and toning.” He shook his head. “Not a three-day-a week intense muscle packing program. I mean if you don’t want to tell me what’s up, that’s cool. But I’m not buying that shit lie at all, buddy.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him what was going on. Hell, I’d have killed for a guy to discuss this stuff with, but I also felt that maybe it was a bit too personal to tell him. It was my sex life with Natalie after all.
But, then again, Nat discussed these things with her friends. Why couldn’t I do the same? Norah caught us and had no shame over listening. Plus, this whole thing had been hard to navigate on my own.
“If I tell you”— I looked over at him as he sat on the bench I just vacated—“you cannot say shit in front of Natalie—”
He vehemently shook his head. “Dude, no. If you’re about to tell me you’re having an affair...I don’t want to know about it. I like Natalie. I respect her, and I don’t want to be complicit in your shit.”
“That isn’t—”
His neck started turning red as his anger rose. “You have kids, man. How can you treat their mother like that?”
I opened my mouth to try to correct his assumption, but he just kept going, clearly enraged over the idea of my cheating on Natalie. As if that would ever happen. “I stood next to you at your wedding. How could you do this?”
“Hey, dickhead.” I smacked the back of his head to get his focus. “I’m not having an affair with anyone other than my wife. But it’s nice to know that, despite your desire to screw anything in a skirt, you respect the sanctity of marriage.”
“How do you have an affair with your wife?” He looked utterly confused. “And cheating is for cowards. Either work on your problems or end the relationship. Cheating does no one any good.”
Adam is a child of divorce, which was brought on by his father’s multiple affairs with women he worked with and with one of his mother’s friends. His mother was crushed, and his father, well, he wised up too late. His wife wouldn’t take him back, and it took a while for her to move on. She remarried about five years ago while his father wound up spending too many evenings with one-night stands and a ton of booze. It all had a great effect on Adam’s impressionable teenage mind. He vowed to love all the ladies until there was one who made him only want to love her.
We were still waiting for her to arrive and knock him on his ass.
Taking a deep breath, I started trying to put into words the things happening between Natalie and me. “Natalie was bored. She wanted to spice things up. Have the kind of sex she reads about or watches in porn.”
Shock colored his face. His voice was filled with awe as he asked, “Sweet little Natalie? No way.” He pondered something for a moment before a serious look darkened his features. “What the hell kind of porn is she watching that’s more than a dick sliding into some pussy? Or butt. Is it that dark-ass stuff? I fell down that rabbit hole watching video after video once, and I felt like I needed therapy and a hug by the time it ended.”
“Nah,” I shook my head. “She’s—"
Adam cut me off, his imagination clearly having overtaken his logical side. “She isn’t into that snuff shit, right? That’s a whole other level of insane shit.”
“Jesus, man.” I hung my head. “I’m not entirely convinced you don’t need therapy. Natalie is not into snuff films or gangbangs or being hung from the ceiling in latex. No kinky doctor fetishes or anything else your head is conjuring. She just wants a little domination, some spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk, that kind of thing.”
His brow furrowed as the confusion returned. He was dumbfounded. “What were you doing before if that’s what she’s calling spicing it up? I mean that isn’t anything too over the top. It’s all fairly normal stuff.”
Damn, if that didn’t make something twist in my gut. I guess our sex life really had been boring before. “Normal sex. Nothing was wrong until about six months ago. Then she started faking it.”
“No . . .”
I nodded. “And when I finally got her to talk about it, the whole list of things she wanted to try and the way she wanted to be handled in the bedroom was a big eye opener.”
“So, like role-playing type stuff? You pretended to be the plumber or pizza guy or gardener, and she can’t pay so she has topaytype of thing?”
“That was an oddly specific example, but no, not really. It’s more like instead of stopping in fifth gear, I shoved it into sixth. Faster. Harder. More Passion. At first, I didn’t think I could do it. That I couldn’t be assertive in the way she wanted, but when I saw her reaction to it? It was like I couldn’t get enough and pushed her further. See what else we could discover, you know?”
“Wow,” he says sincerely before busting out in a fit of laughter. “You just waxed poetically about getting Natalie off. Are you sure you’re as assertive as she needs?”
I flipped him the finger. “Fuck off.”
“He curses now too.” A shit-eating grin plastered across his mouth. “Now all the gym time makes sense. You’re trying to get Natalie’s attention again. Be all sexy and shit. Ladies always go gaga over some nice muscles.”
