Page 119 of My So-Called Perfect Life
I spin her around and grip her face between my hands. “I’m not playing a game with you.” I stare deep into her eyes, letting the sincerity in my words sink in. “What was your plan tonight, Danielle? What brought you here?”
Whether Danielle planned to come here, or it was on a whim, she still had a plan for how this was going to go. She wasn’t expecting to see me with Cara.
Her eyes mist as she looks up at me with some uncertainty in them. “I thought you were testing me.”
“Testing you on what?”
Her cheeks blush with a pale pink in the center. “How much I wanted you.”
“How were you going to prove that?”
“I thought I could show up and tell you I’ve had enough of this and that I want to be with you and only you. Make the first move.”
Her words spark something deep in my chest. “Did you think that would work?”
She nods. “Until I saw you coming up here with a woman. Then, I got mad and desperate. I love you, Ryan. I want you so badly that I’m a walking zombie most days, trying to figure out what I need to do to prove that to you.”
My heart hammers in my chest as her words wash over me. “And if I were up here with a woman?”
“I was going to beg you not to sleep with her. Not to do this to us. Because I’d want you to choose me.”
Her words are like the magic key I’ve needed to stuff my insecurities in a box and lock them away. “That’s all I would’ve had to do? Pick you? It wouldn’t have mattered that I was going to sleep with someone else?”
Her answer to this question is important. I need to hear this before I throw away the box forever. “It would’ve hurt like hell, but it’d be my fault for not proving it to you earlier. Letting you get away with this shit. We are supposed to be together, Ryan. You fill some part of me I didn’t know was empty before you. No one will be able to make me feel the way you do.”
A euphoria I’ve never felt before consumes me. “You love me.” I kiss her lips. “You came to fight for me.”
“I do.” She smiles as the tears building in her eyes finally break free and fall down her beautiful face. “I did. I want it all with you. A wedding. A house. Kids. Hell, even a freaking dog if you want. I don’t care. I just want it all with you. It’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
I smile at her brightly, feeling the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. “This is it.”
“This is what?”
“Remember how I told you that we would know when we were supposed to know?” I ask. “When I said that there would be a sign of some kind?”
She nods.
“This is it.”
“What the hell do you mean, this is it?” she bites out, anger taking over her voice. She balls her hand into a fist and hits me in the chest. “So, you were testing me this whole time? Just waiting for me to come and make a big scene?”
“Ow.” I chuckle, rubbing the spot she punched. “No, I’m saying … you charging up here, even though I could’ve been having sex with another woman, to try and stop me is my sign.”
She shoves away from me, running her hand through her hair. “You know, it’s a good thing you’re hot as hell because I’m starting to question whether or not you’re as dumb as a bag of rocks since, for the life of me, I can’t follow all this stupid shit.” She paces back and forth as she lets everything she’s feeling out. “First, it’s not a test. Now, it was. Me not being able to stomach the idea of you with another woman but willing to look past it is a sign. Why? So that if it happens later in life, you know I’ll forgive you? If that’s what you’re thinking, you’re sadly mistaken, mister.”
“Danielle”—I stop her pacing by grabbing her arm and pulling her into me—“the sign wasn’t you overlooking another woman. It was you trying to stop it to begin with. You could’ve seen Cara and me heading up here and turned and left. You could’ve assumed I was sleeping with Cara and moved on, leaving me without knowing. I witnessed firsthand how fast you dropped Scott, and you had been ready to marry him. You’d loved him but not enough to move past another woman. You were willing. For me. That’s enough for me to know the risks are worth the rewards.”
She peers up at me from under her lashes and starts bawling. “I kind of hate you right now, Ryan Cohen. This has been the worst month of my life. You made me go out. Mercy made me go speed-dating. All because you needed some stupid sign. I got drunk and watched a baseball game tonight, so I could feel close to you, and now, you’re all like,It’s all good now, Danielle. We can be together because I got my sign. Well, fuck you, Ryan.”
She tries to step away from me, but that’s not happening. Now that I have her back, in my arms, she’s not getting away.
“This hasn’t been easy on me, Dani Girl.”
“Bullshit. Your life has been moving along perfectly. New bar. Favorite team winning the World Series all while I’ve had to stalk you on social media because I’ve been a pathetic loser waiting for you to call me. Or text me. Hell, I would’ve taken a note from a carrier pigeon at this point in time. ”
“Yes, those things were great and make me very happy, but not as happy as you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t give me that shit, Ryan. This whole stupid break was your idea. And that line sounds like one from a cheesy movie.”
