Page 89 of The Duke's Second Bride
When Ava wasn’t off visiting Edith, she took most of her meals in her room.
Indeed, she spends quite a bit of time in her room nowadays.
It seemed like the only thing to do. If she went outside, she would be faced with a thousand reminders of the happy life she had so nearly had.
The garden, for starters, was a mirror of the one they had planted in the country.
Going out for long walks with Luke and Christian.
And, of course, all the places in the house that reminded her of Christian alone.
Even her bed wasn’t safe from the memories, she realized with a pang to her heart.
But as long as she stayed in it, she wouldn’t have to walk around the estate trying to avoid Christian, or any reminders of him.
There was a knock at the door. She hated how her heart lurched at the sound, as though hoping it was Christian. “Come in,” she said.
She did not temper her hopes enough—she still was hit with a powerful wave of disappointment when it turned out not to be Christian, although her heart was buoyed slightly by the sight of Luke with Pudding in his arms.
“Hello, Ava,” he said.
“Hello, Luke,” she said. “What are the two of you doing here?”
“I know you have been unwell,” Luke said, approaching the bed. “Or maybe just sad. D-did I do something to hurt your feelings?”
Her heart sank. In all of her malaise, she had never once wanted Luke to be aware of the problems she and Christian were having.
“No,” she protested. “Of course not.”
“G-good,” Luke said. Approaching the bed, he allowed Pudding to crawl onto it. “I just thought that maybe Pudding would makeyou feel better. He always makes me f-feel better when I am sad.”
“That is very kind of you, Luke,” Ava said. The cat climbed onto the bed and curled up in her lap. The weight of him was indeed a comfort, she had to admit.
“I’ll let you r-rest,” Luke said. “And maybe when you are f-feeling better, we can p-p-play in the garden again?”
“Of course we can,” she assured him. “And you will have to tell me all about your lessons, and about the books you are reading.”
“And we can begin having dinner as a family again?” he asked. “I know Father has been very busy, as well. And I like eating dinner with just him and me alone, or with just you and me alone. But I like it best when it is the three of us together.”
Ava’s heart sank even further. What could she say?
The matters between Christian and her were much too complicated to explain to a young child like Luke—particularly when they were so complex, she felt as though she barely understood them herself.
“Perhaps,” she said, not wanting to dash his hopes but also not wanting to indulge him in false hopes.
She had given up on Christian as a loving husband, but he would always be a loving father to Luke, that she knew for certain.
Luke scrunched his brow in an expression that made him look so much like a tiny version of Christian that Ava nearly laughed with recognition and sadness.
“P-perhaps?”
Ava racked her brain for something to say that would make sense to a child.
“Thank you for coming to check on me, Luke,” she said. “It was very kind. And I am most sorry if I made you worry about me. It was never my intention.”
“It’s all right,” he said. “I just m-miss playing with you. And so does Pudding. He told me so.”
“Oh?” she asked. Ava couldn’t help but crack a small smile at Luke’s funniness, and she was rewarded with one of his brighter smiles. “Is that so? Pudding told you himself?”
