Page 3 of The Duke's Second Bride
He pushed further past the crowd, muttering apologies to anyone who reacted with outrage. Looking over at the group of boys from earlier, he hoped that maybe his son had simply disobeyed him to play with them.
But no luck. Luke wasn’t there either.
Christian bit back a curse and continued to search the fair as his heart began to pound.
CHAPTER 2
“What an excellent sight,” Edith said, wrapping her arm firmly through Ava’s. “Aren’t you glad you came out? And to think, you were planning to sit inside all day!”
While Ava could not deny that the hot air balloon festival was impressive—and she enjoyed getting to spend the afternoon in her friend’s company, particularly in such a beautiful venue as Vauxhall Gardens—it did have her feeling slightly on edge, to be surrounded by so many people.
Even after all these years, it seemed she had not quite acclimated to life as a Londoner. And now, being a widow, it was as though the challenges that had faced her before had tripled, even quadrupled in quantity.
Perhaps that was not fair. After all, she had Edith. And certainly, there were other kindhearted people in the ton. But largely they all seemed to abide by a labyrinth of social customs that she found nigh impossible to navigate.
No, she much preferred the company of animals to that of man. Animals weren’t so complicated. You could befriend any horse, so long as you had carrots and a gentle disposition; same with dogs and cats, though one must substitute carrots for meat in that case.
Then again, it had been so long since she hadproperlybeen allowed to spend as much time around animals as she liked. Perhaps she had forgotten everything she once knew.
Surely, her parents—God rest their souls—would have preferred as much. They had never known what to do with their country-loving daughter, other than send her to live in London as soon as possible, for as long as possible, in hopes that she would grow into a properly socialized young lady.
Seeing a group of giggling women approach them down the path, Ava could not help but feel as though those hopes had been soundly dashed.
Lady Southington led the pack, with Lady Reginald at her side. As they came closer, they offered a polite smile and a nod, which Ava and Edith returned.
Passing by, however, Lady Southington covered her mouth, and so loudly that she might as well have dispensed with the cover, whispered, “And there they go—the merry widows of London!”
“At least Lady Nealton is out and about and involved with her charities. Lady Dunfair, on the other hand … her husband barely cold in the ground a year! Can you believe she dares to show herface in public? I cannot possibly understand why Lady Nealton would choose to associate with her.”
Ava’s cheeks already hurt from the constant smile she was wearing, and she felt even more deflated at the comments overheard from the crowd. Her best friend, Edith, was also a widow, but Edith’s situation was still somehow quite different.
For starters, Edith suffered from none of the rumors surrounding William, Ava’s late husband. Edith’s husband had been entirely faithful. Ava’s late husband, not so much—and that was before he had begun to accuse Ava of being infertile.
It was this point, perhaps, that was the most important in explaining their difference in stations: Edith’s husband had already had sons before their marriage.
Ava’s husband had not, and so part of her wifely duties were, presumably, that she would provide him with, at the very least, an heir.
It was a duty that Ava had failed to fulfill.
A fact she had been reminded of nearly every day of her marriage.A bad investment, her husband had called her.
Never mind the conversation she had overheard between him and his physician, years before his death:
I fear you will never bear children, the doctor had told William. Take heart: infertility is not such a death sentence for a man. At least you will never have to worry about any heirs born out of wedlock …
This was true, if nothing else. The late Lord Dunfair had seemingly taken advantage of this fact, stepping outside their marriage whenever the urge struck him.
Ava did not, of course. She had made her vows, and she intended to keep them. However horrible her husband was, she was a woman of her word.
And if she ever felt lonely, or lacking in affection—well, that was just the way of the world. She had seen plenty of love and affection growing up, in her parents, in her friends’ marriages. She knew love existed.
She knew bad luck existed as well. She had been blessed with a financially stable union and with loving friends and family. Perhaps romantic love and children were simply not in the cards for her.
Even with this knowledge lodged deep inside her, it seemed she had still harbored some quiet, secret hope that a miracle would happen and bring her the children she had longed for. She had kept this secret even from herself, because she had not realized it until Dunfair’s death.
What had flooded through her then was more than simple grief for her dead husband. However, that was of course a factor, butgrief for the children they would never have, for the love that would never blossom between them, that they would never grow comfortable in their marriage, and never understand each other. It was then that she truly gave up. Love would not happen for her in the way she had hoped.
“It is so good to see you out and about and enjoying the day after such a terrible year,” Lady Reginald said. “It must get terribly lonely in that house, without a husband to keep company.”
