Page 35 of The Duke's Second Bride
Her lips were soft beneath his as he had imagined. No, softer by far, and warm. Her arms raised up, but rather than pushing him away, she pulled him in closer, closer, until she was on her tiptoes and he bent down with her arms around his neck as they kissed.
It was such a relief. He had not realized until now just how deep his need went. He had not realized the strength of his desperation until the thirst was quenched. And yet, somehow, it wasn’t quenched at all, because having her like this only made him want her more.
Suddenly, he realized what he was doing. He was kissing her. Seconds after he had assured her he didn’t want anything like that from her. The realization was like a bucket of ice water over his head. He broke the kiss with great suddenness, stumbling a step backwards.
Ava looked up at him, confused. Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.
He found himself needing to catch his breath, too. Her cheeks were pinker, rosier than usual, and the nightgown allowed him to see how the flush spread down further, down her neck and to her décolletage, to her cleavage.
No.
He averted his eyes, forcing himself to look back at her face. All that talk of being a gentleman, and somehow this woman was able to reduce him to his most animalistic urges. He was ashamed of himself.
“You should go,” he said. His voice came out rougher than he had intended. “I will see you in the morning.”
“What?” Ava stood there, staring at him, clearly confused by the sudden change of demeanor, action, and emotion. He could not blame her. “But you—we?—”
“That was a mistake,” he said, more loudly. “I apologize. It was untoward of me.”
When she made no move to leave, he cleared his throat more assertively and gestured to the door.
“Good night, Ava.”
Her face went through a dozen changes in expression that he was unable to read before settling back on that familiar stony look.
“Fine,” she practically spat. “Good night, Christian,” she said, before turning to leave.
The door shut heavily behind her.
It wasn’t until an hour later, when Christian finally was about to doze off to sleep, that he realized that was the first time he had called her by her given name.
CHAPTER 12
It was very early in the morning when Christian left.
This was one responsibility he did not miss about being home on the country estate—he had to check on his tenants. Whether he liked it or not, however, it needed to get done, and he supposed it was better to get it over with earlier in the day, rather than later.
And, of course, it had the immediate benefit of allowing him to avoid his new wife.
All night, he had slept fitfully. When he was awake, he racked his brain all morning and early afternoon to figure out what on Earth had come over him.
He was not some animal in heat, or some lust-addled adolescent. He was a grown man, with an estate, a family, and a title, and he had always demonstrated the restraint, self-control, and self-respect that came with having all of those things. He was amember of polite society. He had never had any trouble acting like it.
Not before Ava, anyway.
What was it about her that drove him so wild, he wondered? It boggled the mind.
She was beautiful, of course. Perhaps it was only natural that he should react this way, after so many years without a wife. In any case, he would do better the next time.
Hopefully, there would not be a next time. He would have to get it into her head that he meant it when he said he did not expect anything of her.
Whether he wanted her was obviously a different question. But that was not what mattered. He had promised to treat her with respect, and he would.
When he got home, he made an immediate beeline for his study. There was no sign of Ava throughout the house, which was good; hopefully, she was out exploring the property somewhere, and he would not have to deal with the inevitably awkward conversation that would occur when they were face-to-face. If he played his cards right, maybe he wouldn’t have to see her at all until dinnertime, when Luke would be there and such a conversation would be impossible.
They would have to have the conversation at some point. He couldn’t spend an entire lifetime avoiding any sort of privacy with Ava, he knew. But by God, he certainly meant to try.
Entering his study brought no small amount of relief. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh as he began to lower himself into his favorite chair—and immediately sprang back up when the movement was met with a high-pitched yowling sound.
