Page 84 of Once Bitten, Twice Fried
Nicki kept talking, as if Zoe hadn’t said anything.
“But in all these years, I have to admit something, and please don’t take this wrong.” She looked at Zoe carefully, as if she was trying to read her boss’ emotions. “But I’ve never seen you make a decision for yourself.”
Zoe laughed. “Oh Nicki, that isn’t true.”
“It is, actually. Everything you did has always been for your show, for a client or for Tom. You’ve always picked what was easier for them.”
It was a bit silly of Nicki to say that. What else was Zoe supposed to do? She had to do it for her career. Any step outside of the path and she would’ve lost everything she’d built.
“That’s not fair, Nicki. You know how the business is. It’s not as if I had much choice.”
“But you did. It’s just that it was always easier to sacrifice what you really wanted.”
Zoe wanted to refute that but she couldn’t. She stayed silent.
“A year ago, you were offered the opportunity to run your own upscale restaurant in London. But you refused, because it would’ve gotten in the way of the show and the cookbooks. Two years ago, you were offered training in Japanese cuisinein Japan, which was an incredible opportunity. You seemed so excited about it, and then you turned it down because Tom had to go abroad to shoot a film and he wanted to spend time with you before he left. And I know you like the reliability of doing the show, and I know you were happy to get that time with Tom. But those were your dreams, Zoe. You love cooking more than anything and, as you pointed out yourself, you hardly ever get to talk about it any more, much less do it. You used to spend hours telling me about the perfect way to bake a sole. Now we spend hours talking about what points to mention about your relationship for an interview with a woman’s magazine.”
It was all true. Zoe hadn’t kept track of all the things she agreed or disagreed to in the past few years but her life had taken a strange turn. Now, all these small choices that hadn’t seemed like much back then - the restaurant offer had made her sad but she’d gotten over it when the new season started filming, and she told herself there would always be time to go to Japan - were all doors she’d closed behind her.
“I don’t mean to berate you. You’re someone I like and care about a lot. I have my opinions about what you should do about Tom and Julie, but this is your decision to make.” Nicki took Zoe’s hand into hers. “I think Zoe deserves some happiness outside of the telly screen.”
Zoe squeezed Nicki’s hand. Once again, her assistant had hit the nail on the head. She couldn’t just let other people decide what was better for her. It was time for her to stop following the recipe.
Chapter 35
“Hello love.” Tom planted a kiss on Zoe’s head. It was late at night. He texted her that the meeting had turned into dinner plans and he would be home late. Zoe was still sitting at the dining room table. She’d been restless for the entire evening.
After finally sending Nicki home, Zoe had taken a long hard look at herself and her life. She knew Nicki was right. She had to do something for herself, just once. Even if it meant jumping into the unknown.
“Why are you sitting at the table like this?” Tom chuckled. “Were you waiting for me with a rolling pin?”
Zoe gave him a tight smile. There was no good way to do what she was about to do, but it was the right thing to do.
“Tom, we need to talk.”
“Oh boy. Am I in trouble?” He grinned at her, and leaned with his elbows on the table.
“This is serious.” Maybe a few hours ago, Zoe would’ve worried about not laughing enough at one of Tom’s jokes, but she was past that. She needed for him to stay focused and not try to charm her out of it.
Tom took a chair out and sat across from Zoe, a comically puzzled look on his face.
Zoe swallowed. “I don’t want to get married any more.”
He raised a brow. “It’s alright, we can postpone the date. I’m sure Harry can come up with-”
“No. I don’t want to get married, period.”
Tom sat back, one arm over the back of his chair. “Come on, love. What are you saying here?” He flashed his most charming smile at her.
“A lot has happened in the past weeks and I don’t want to do this any more. I haven’t been honest with you and I regret it.” All Zoe wanted right now was for him to take her seriously. How could she get him to stop grinning at her like that?
“I slept with someone at the wedding.” She held her gaze on him as she said it.
It worked. Tom’s entire demeanour changed immediately, the smile falling away and his eyes widening.
“OK.” He shifted in his chair and nodded frantically, trying to keep control of his emotions. “OK. Alright. Wow.” He swallowed and looked down at the table. “What’s his name?”
Zoe stayed silent. This wasn’t where she wanted the conversation to go, at least not yet, and she wanted to keep the upper hand.
