Page 63 of Once Bitten, Twice Fried
Adam wasn’t sitting next to Yasmine, surprisingly. He was sitting next to his mother, a stern-looking old lady who still insisted on cutting up her son’s meat. She said that he shouldn’t tire himself before his big day, but Julie would’ve bet anything that she was cutting his meat every time he had dinner with her.
Zoe came in after finishing up in the kitchen, and Yasmine pointed her to an empty chair with a look that brooked no argument. She sat down between Yasmine and Leila, and kept launching worried looks towards Julie. Julie wished she would stop. The last thing she wanted was for someone to notice and ask if everything was alright between them. It wasn’t.
Weddings suddenly seemed like a pointless thing. Julie had always believed them to be the ultimate love gesture, but now it seemed more and more clear to her that people who loved each other didn’t end up together and vice versa. What a splurge of money for nothing. Julie poured herself another glass of wine. Maybe one day it wouldn’t matter any more. Maybe when Zoe’s hair would be fully grey and Julie’s face full of wrinkles, maybe by then they’d have long gotten past their strange relationship. Julie was looking forward to that.
The night dragged on and on until Adam and his family left to go back to their hotel - a luxurious boutique hotel inside a 18th century castle that could only be booked through someone’s verbal recommendation. His mum looked happy to go to bed, and Julie could only understand her. The bridesmaids waved the waiter for another bottle of wine and Julie took it as her cue. She was crashing from the night before.
“Girls, sorry but I’m going to go to bed. I’m exhausted and I don’t want to fall asleep during Yasmine’s vows tomorrow.” She smiled.
“You can take a nap during Adam’s.” Yasmine answered. “No, please don’t. It took him forever to write his vows. I had toset up three meetings with his personal assistant while he was on tour.”
The bridesmaids laughed but Julie didn’t feel like it was funny. She forced a smile and nodded.
“Alright, I’ll go to bed now so I won’t nap during either of your vows.”
“Good night Julie!” The bridesmaids chorused.
Zoe was fidgeting with a napkin on the table, a look of anguish in her eyes, but Julie didn’t want to interpret it as anything. She had to stop.
Julie walked upstairs and to her room, as quickly as possible, in case someone suggested another treasure hunt or going to the swimming pool. She entered her room and slammed the door behind her. Tears had been building up in her eyes since the afternoon and she started crying when she saw the windowsill where Zoe and her closed the distance, not even 24 hours ago. She put on her pyjamas and got ready for bed. She was so tired and was looking forward to finally drifting away and forgetting about this stupid day.
She’d barely closed her eyes when there was a knock on her door.
Julie rolled out of bed and slowly walked towards the sound.
“Julie… It’s me. It’s Zoe.” Zoe whispered. “Can we talk?”
What was there to talk about? Zoe was about to get married and it would be madness for her to throw everything away. There was nothing in it for either of them.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Zo.” Julie said, feeling a spark of annoyance. When could she just be done with this?
“Please… I need to see you.”
Julie stayed silent.
“I’m so sorry for this afternoon. I don’t want things to be like…” Zoe lowered her voice even more. “Like before.”
Julie sighed and reluctantly opened the door. Zoe looked terribly worried. She walked towards Julie, closed the door behind her, then held her in a tight hug. Zoe smelled like a late night in summer, or a cosy evening in the winter. Julie couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face.
“I’m so sorry for earlier. Tom is hounding me with these wedding preparations, I don’t know why he can’t just wait until I’m back.”
Julie broke the hug, the annoyance getting stronger. It was all too much. “Zoe, this isn’t right. We shouldn’t be doing any of this. I can’t take it any more.”
“We have to talk about this! We can’t just pretend that nothing happened. That there’s nothing between us. I-”
Julie cut her off. “No, this isn’t something that can just be talked through.” She wiped her eyes. “You’re about to get married. Just forget about me.”
Tears were streaming down Zoe’s face too. “How?” Her voice broke. “How am I supposed to forget about you?” Zoe swallowed. “I was trying to tell you this earlier, but I haven’t felt anything like this in a long time. I’m going to get married but you have to know that I won’t forget you. I never will.”
All of this was so unfair. Was it stress? Was it the fact that the most beautiful woman in the world had just confessed her feelings to her? Julie was so tired of not being able to take Zoe into her arms. Tired of never getting what she wanted. She just wished things could be simple for once. As simple as being in love with someone and being loved back. She suddenly felt overcome by her exhaustion, and her last ounce of willpower drained away. She took Zoe’s face into her hands, brushing a strand of her hair away.
Zoe looked surprised. Her own hands slowly gripped Julie’s waist, bringing their bodies together. “We shouldn’t do this.”
“No, we shouldn’t.” Julie planted a light kiss on Zoe’s lips.
“This isn’t right.” Zoe kissed her back, firmly holding onto Julie.
“No, it isn’t.”
