Page 57 of Once Bitten, Twice Fried
Julie spoke again. “Zo… I have no idea what’s going on but… yesterday on the road, before Yasmine called us…” She paused. “I need to know.”
Zoe’s head was spinning. There was still time for her to leave. She could excuse herself and pretend that nothing had happened. Just like she did ten years ago. But Zoe didn’t want that, not this time.
She took a breath. “I’ve missed you, Julie. Since you’ve been back in my life, everything has changed. And I know it sounds stupid because it’s been less than two weeks. But everything from ten years ago… It’s still there.”
Julie took Zoe’s hand and ran the pad of her thumb along her knuckles. Zoe shivered.
“For me too. You’ve been driving me crazy ever since I set eyes on you again, ” Julie sighed. “Talk about bad timing.”
Zoe barely heard what Julie was saying after that first sentence. It was done. They’d both said it, both admitted how they felt - not then, but now. It was like the last tether line on a hot air balloon had been cut, and now she was floating free, away from everything safe and into unknown territory.
“I’m about to get married…” Zoe whispered, not sure if it was for herself or for Julie to hear.
“I know. We shouldn’t.” Julie inched closer. She hadn’t said what exactly they shouldn’t do, but it hung in the air, unspoken.
Zoe turned to face Julie. She gently touched Julie’s face. “Maybe this is just a dumb crush. Maybe it’ll go away.”
Julie was about to say something, but Zoe suddenly couldn’t stand talking any longer. She leaned in and touched her lips to Julie’s. She felt Julie jump slightly in surprise, but a second later she felt Julie’s hand on her waist, pulling her in closer, and Julie’s lips pressed hard against hers. Zoe could taste the cigarette on Julie still and kissed her back even harder. In response, Julie let her tongue enter Zoe’s mouth. Her fingers were digging into Zoe’s back.
Zoe felt a rush of everything. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be doing this. And she knew she’d come to Belgium looking for exactly this. She was briefly transported back to that bedroom on that one fateful night and wished she’d never left, wished she’d told Yasmine she couldn’t be there for the plumber. Wished she’d gone home later that summer - if at all. She could’ve resolved everything with Julie, whose kisses made her dizzy, whose touch left her wanting more. She could have left things properly. She could have stayed with her forever. Zoe slowly moved her hand to the back of Julie’s head, where her hair met her neck. She felt Julie shiver in her mouth.
Julie finally moved back, looking at Zoe breathlessly. She leaned forward and gave Zoe one more soft, warm kiss, as if it was a parting gift.
Zoe stared at her, realisation inevitably seeping in. “What have we done?”
Julie slowly shook her head, stepping away from the windowsill and back into the dark of the bedroom. “It can’t happen again.” She took her hands away from Zoe. “It can’t happen again,” she repeated.
Julie’s eyes looked sad. Zoe wanted to take her face and kiss her again, telling her everything would be fine. But it wouldn’t be the truth. She moved away, nodding, because she didn’t know what else to do.
“If it happens again…” Julie swallowed hard. “It’ll break me.”
“I know. Me too.”
“We only have a few days here, then afterwards you’ll be back in London and I’ll be in Brussels. We can go back to our normal lives.” Julie’s voice was trembling.
Zoe’s heart tugged. She had just gotten this friendship back and had already been looking forward to their newly rekindled friendship and now it was all ruined. “Yes. We can do it.” She gave Julie half a smile. “We did it for ten years already.”
Julie suddenly grabbed Zoe’s hand. “No, I’ve been waiting for ten years.” She removed it. “Sorry, I mean-”
Zoe took Julie’s hand back into hers. “It’s OK. I was too.”
Julie looked at their hands together, then back at Zoe. “I’m sorry, Zo.”
“Please don’t be.” Every second spent in this room just made Zoe want more from Julie. She couldn’t let that happen. “I probably should go.”
“Yes, I think so.”
Zoe reluctantly let Julie’s hand go. She gave her one last look then turned around and left as quickly as possible. She couldn’t let Julie see that tears were streaming down her face. How did everything go so wrong? And why did it feel so right? She’d half-hoped that kissing Julie would make the tension go away, that it would make her realise that Tom was who she needed to be with. Instead, it was only further evidence that Julie and her fit together like nobody else did.
Zoe closed her bedroom door quickly behind her and then crumbled into her bed, softly sobbing against the crisp linen of the pillows. She didn’t know how she would be able to live the next ten years of her life without Julie.
Chapter 25
Julie gazed wearily at the faint light coming through her bedroom window. She had tossed and turned all night, managed maybe an hour of fitful sleep, and now it was morning. She covered her face with her hands. She still couldn’t believe what had happened last night. What a mess they were in. It didn’t help that she could still feel Zoe’s kiss lingering on her lips. Julie had already been barely hanging on by a thread ever since Zoe had come back into her life, but after that kiss, she was a goner. There was no coming back from this. Nothing else would ever compare.
Julie lay on her back, staring at the ceiling for another minute before grabbing her phone. Maybe it would help to tell someone what had happened, to put it all into words. She wasn’t thrilled to tell Claire, but at least she would be on her side. It was 5:34 am. It wasn’t too early to text a friend, right? She started typing.
“Hey so… Zoe and I kissed last night. What do I do?”
