Page 54 of Magpie
I will not be controlled.
Standing slowly, I turn and make my way to the stairs. I’m an inferno as I climb them steadily, continuing until I stand outside the door to Alister’s bedroom, not even flinching as he throws something against it. His tantrums don’t scare me, not anymore. Without pausing another moment, I twist the handle and push the door open.
His back is to me. He’s removed his jacket, and I see it tossed in a heap on the floor. His hair is a wiry mess, and I know he’s run his hands through it in frustration. He stills but doesn’t turn as I walk into the room.
“I know tonight was difficult for you.”
I let out a sharp bark of laughter. His words are like a slap in the face, and they only fuel that hot anger inside of me. His shoulders slump as he lets out a deep sigh, likeIam being the unreasonable one. He turns to me with that same possessive expression he wears when he tells me everything he does is for my own good. A façade of kindness crosses his eyes as he walks toward me.
“In time, you will understand that I did it all to protect you. You were too attached to him; he was drawing you away from your true calling.”
He reaches out to touch my cheek, and I slap his hand away, glaring at him. His eye twitches, a flash of anger breaking through the fake concern.
I want to rip that expression off his face and shred it.
“I hate you,” I spit, my voice ringing out in the quiet of the room. I watch him fighting against himself, trying to cling to the mask of gentle comfort, the mask of the protector. The mask of a fuckingliar.
“You are just confused,” he croons, his voice soft and caring. He attempts to take my hands in his.
I spin out of his grip, hurry away from him, hugging myself tightly as I all but shout, “I am clear-headed for the first time in a very long time.” I begin to shake as my rage courses through me. “You stole him from me.” My voice is barely above a whisper now. Alister opens his mouth to speak, a placating look in his eyes, but I cut him off by screaming, “You stole everything from me!”
He doesn’t so much as flinch. In fact, he scoffs, the false kindness falling from his face and at last revealing a hateful sneer.
“I gave you the world, you ungrateful littlebitch,” he snaps, taking three quick strides and closing the gap between us. I hold my ground just like I’m holding his gaze, undaunted by the presence of him. The sight of my defiance only makes his grimace deepen, his beautiful features contorting into a revolting expression. He grabs my face, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he yanks me forward until his forehead is touching mine. His eyes are feverish and wild as he snarls, “I saved you from the miserable existence you were wasting away in. Your life was unremarkable. Your life wasnothing.”
“But it wasmylife,” I shout, pushing him away from me, even as his nails dig deep grooves into my cheeks, leaving a searing pain in their wake. I stumble away from him, but he is faster, grabbing my wrist and yanking me back before I can get far.
“Your life was always destined to be mine,” he growls, his voice dark and smoky, trying to wrap around me and confuse my senses.
Shaking my head, I push against him and stumble away. I turn my back to him and hug myself as I say, “I’m leaving. I don’t care what I promised. I don’t care what you think I owe you. I’m done giving myself to you—you certainly already took more than enough. I’m done with this, Alister. I’m done with you.”
There is a deafening silence in the wake of my speech. Then Alister lets out a sarcastic laugh, the sound sharp and grating. He walks up behind me and places his hands on my shoulders, pressing down.
“You’re not goinganywhere,” he hisses in my ear, gripping my neck tightly, holding me fast to him with his other arm as it pins my back against his chest.
“You cannot keep me locked up here forever.”
He laughs again, the sound vibrating through me as he nuzzles his head into my neck. I squirm against him, and he grips my throat tighter, making it nearly impossible to breathe.
“I can do anything I want with you. Do you know why, Magpie?” When I don’t answer, he turns my neck, moving me like a puppet to shake my head. “No? Well, let me tell you,pretty bird.” I stifle the urge to scream when he calls me that name. I will not give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “It’s because I own you, Magpie. Your life is notyours, not after you so willingly gave it to me.”
“You tricked me,” I shout, unable to hold my tongue any longer as I yank myself out of his grip, spinning around and glaring at him. “There is no way you told me this is the life I was signing up for. I would never have agreed to that.”
“Can you be so sure? Do you even remember a single thing about yourself? Do you even remember what you look like?” Alister’s smile is a cruel mockery as I open my mouth, thenquickly snap it shut. “No? Let me help,” he sneers. He grabs my shoulder and yanks me to the full-length mirror in his bedroom, shoving me in front of it. “Tell me what you see, Magpie.”
“Stop it,” I hiss, unable to hold the shifting, swirling gaze of my reflection. It’s unsteadying to look so plainly at something and not be able to drink any of it in.
“You can’t tell me, becauseyoudo not exist, Magpie. You gave that existence to me,” he shouts, slamming his hand against his chest.
I whirl around to face him, unable to stomach the look of my reflection. “I intend to get it back,” I hiss, turning and storming out of the room. He doesn’t attempt to stop me; I assume because he thinks I’m too weak to try to leave him.
I can’t help but wonder if he’s right.
It never occurred to me before to leave the House, to leave Alister. If I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t want to. I hate my lessons, yes, and I’ve grown detached from Alister, but never once has the idea to run sprouted in my mind. There is comfort in the numbness, a familiarity in it. But now that the idea of leaving has taken root, I find there is no digging it out.
Storming into my room, I rush over to my dresser and grab a bag, throwing it onto my bed as I decide what I want to take with me. Pausing, I look around the room. Books, baubles, and trinkets line the shelves, and a pile of black dresses is strewn about the floor. None of it calls to me. Nothing except the book tossed haphazardly on my side table. A small journal, filled with scrawled notes from Sean.
Any time Alister was using me for a lesson, Sean would spend the time writing in it. Reading his words, which I now know to be the evidence of his love for me, was the light that led me out of the darkness. I realize all at once there isn’t a single thing in this house that I want to take with me besides this book.
